3 Dec 2012 Darshan

My first darshan…

The first time I met Amma was after a 3.5 hour drive to Seattle. I had a severe migraine at the time, however I was determined to reach Her. I had a dream of Amma previously that made me intent to see Her. I dreamt I was coming off of a plane and was in the line of people walking down the aisle. I felt Her, and looked to my left. She smiled at me and looked in my eyes. She was walking with others to board the plane. I felt this deep connection to Her after the dream. When I looked for Her on the Internet I saw that she was going to be in Seattle!

When I came into the hall where she was giving Darshan I didn’t know I had to get a token. I sat meditating and watching others going up to Her with flowers. It was then that a memory came to me of my Great Grandma. This memory was something I had tucked so far deep inside me that I was surprised by it. I was walking down a dirt road barefoot and saw South Dakota prairie flowers. I picked every color I could find for my Great Grandma. The memory opened up my heart. I couldn’t stop crying. Since I was young I have battled through migraines and other painful events.  I didn’t let myself feel any love towards myself. I was very severe in how I viewed my faults. Through my heart opening Amma let me know that She knew me better than I did. She brought this buried memory out to show me  that I was still that little girl carrying flowers to my Grandma who loved me and saw me and listened to me.

I cried for quite a while until the thought came to me that I needed to get a hug too! I didn’t think I deserved one. Someone had given their token back. I was able to get into line. I was the last person she hugged. My heart broke open and She filled it with Her love.

Lasita Gilbert, US

Join the conversation! 3 Comments

  1. Very touching post. Especially the last line, my heart broke open and She filled it with Her Love. Very nice. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Of course, AMMA can’t be anything else, other than Love.

  3. Beautiful.

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