8 Aug 2010

Every day, with Amma, is so very beautiful. Yesterday was the second day of Darshan after the USA Japan programs. Amma spent long days starting at 11am until 2am the next day spending time with each person who had come.

Yesterday evening turned lively as Amma called in for Amrita University students. Amma’s interaction with her student children is really touching. Amma asked the whole stage to be emptied for her students to sit. Many of the students were new and hence as they sat behind after seeing Amma, they saw her with a new tinge of amazement, their child-like curiosity leading them to tell where they were from and asking the bramhacharins whether Amma does this so regularly.

Amma was so loving asking if they feel comfortable in the campus, do they study well and so on. A boy came to her and showed her the face. The young student had previously prayed in the past that he wanted some beard(facial hair) since it did not grow fast on him. Reminding him the episode, Amma said “Oh you now have hairs on your chin”. The boy said “Amma even that is your Grace!” Amma broke into laughter saying “He says even this is my Grace!”

Then there was another student who came well-dressed with a new shirt. Amma teased saying “Oh you are dressing so well since you want girls to ogle at you. Wait come here.” She started readjusting his shirt. The boy meekly replied “i had that thought previously but not now” referring to the publicity he was getting being in Amma’s presence.

Amma would ask students whether they study enough. She would be happy to hear comments on achievements from her children.

It was around 10pm and Swamiji was singing Bhajans. Beside Amma there was this young boy, Eknath, of 12-14 years from Michigan. He was looking everywhere around in amazement. Amma suddenly turned towards him and asked him in English “”Eknath, Eknath” followed by “are you ok?”. The boy started looking all around to guess where that came from. He then looked at Amma and said “I’m very ok!”. Then Amma asked him “Don’t you want to dance?” It seems during Amma’s tour Eknath would dance whenever he heard Bhajans. Looking at Amma and smiling, Eknath replied “Yes, but i want to dance with YOU”. Amma spontaneously remarked “Endammae”, which in Malayalam closely translates to the shock-surprise remark like in Italian “Mamma Mia”! Everyone around laughed hearing this beautiful conversation.

Lot more of nicer things happened and with Amma this list is endless. The celebration continues. What a Grace indeed!

shyam

On Mondays and Fridays Amma has regularly been going to the beach and leading meditation and question and answer sessions. Monday the 16th, however, it had been raining heavily. So, we were surprised when we heard the familiar three bells announcing that Amma was coming out to join us. But where? In the bhajan hall under a tin roof reverberating with raindrops we discovered.

Amma was accompanied, as usual, by Siddarth who sat by her side. When another little boy came up and got a kiss from Amma, Siddarth clearly wanted to be sure he got his share of attention and cuddled up to Amma! Toward the end of the Q and A, little tots from all over the world began to slip through the crowded hall toward Amma. Blond, brunette, male, female, Eastern and Western, they all were attracted to Amma like filings to a magnet. They surrounded Amma, sitting on her peetham, at her feet and standing by her side.

At the end of the Q and A, Amma asked Siddarth to sing, Mayyaji. This was a particularly poignant moment, as he was about to leave India to return to America to start school.

O Mother, I need you. I need you every moment…Only you can make me smile. I need you. I need you with me.
Amma kept encouraging him to sing faster and he followed Amma’s instructions exactly. After that, Amma walked up the middle ramp to the stage for bhajans.

- Rita

4 Aug 2010, Amritapuri

Tuesday is a special day indeed with close Satsang, Q-and-A with Amma and most blessedly, getting the Prasad from Amma’s hands. This Tuesday was the first after Amma’s long US-Japan tour and as Amma came in, the crowded Kali temple became silently lively and joyfully dynamic. Amma sat in the center surrounded by her children. The little boy, Siddharth sat right next to Amma. After leading a beautiful meditation, Amma asked food to be brought so she can hand it over to one and all. Amma also asked little Siddharth to sing a song and in a beautiful voice came “Chita Chora Krishnaaa”. As one amazed at this kid’s voice and his song’s call, Amma’s voice followed his bhajan, putting us all in unpolluted delight. Amma later started distributing Prasad and while doing that she asked Siddharth to tell stories. To the amazement of many, the little one started telling stories of depth and wonder revealing the mysteries of Chamundi, Ambika and Ramayana in his style, even including an animated “twang” to indicate that arrows of Rama were released from the bow. Amma’s presence was like a sweet tender-coconut drink after a deserted two and a half months.

*****

Amma also came later in the evening for Bhajans. Past two days, another boy, also from US, would accompany Amma on stage and would “air” play instruments or try to imitate Amma during the Bhajans. He would sit right next to Amma near the Tablas and sing and shake as if he was playing tablas or drums. His finishing exclamations “Oh Wow”, “Weeee”,”Oh what a night”, “Keep it going” “This is exactly the way i like it”, “This is why i say, I love India” would even add a comical lightness to all. Amma lovingly smiled at him. As bhajans were about to sung, even the tune was enough for this boy who sat next to Amma and Siddharth sitting just behind Amma to start singing. As Amma decided one bhajan and the musicians started playing the tune, these two boys started singing the Bhajan in their own styles in two different tunes. Amma then started singing and shortly paused the song, and with a smile restarted to finish the Bhajan. Amma later said these two kids started singing the song earlier on and that she lost the rhythm hearing both singing. Most of us had not even realised Amma had paused in between. We had rather thought Amma was jokingly enjoying the song and the delay was deliberate to reveal the Vedantic punch. What an evening! Amma finished the Bhajans with “Om Namah Shivaya” followed by “Amma Amma Taye” taking one and all to the beautiful Devi Bhava memories. As arati was going on, Amma looked deeply into all her boys and girls with her smile as if saying “i still haven’t seen you enough”.

Smiles in faces, gatherings, family lunch and all – Festival of Joy indeed here at Amritapuri and this is just the beginning.

– Shyam

This is a letter written to Amma by an ex resident of the Ashram. Sharing this for the benefit of Amma devotees.

—

My dear friend,

Even though I address you in this way, to me you are beyond that.  I recall, more and more, what you said to me when I left the ashram and when I spoke so many negative words about the ashram.  You told me that if one sees what is sweet as bitter instead, it is because one’s intellect has become diminished. I did not understand that at the time, but today I recognize myself; I recognize my Guru.

At that time, I was critical of everyone except me, one by one. I didn’t evaluate myself, didn’t see or hear myself. Today, I am married and I have two children, and it is only now that I have started viewing my Guru and the ashram from a spiritual viewpoint  – only after I recognized myself, to be exact.

My Guru shed tears when I left the ashram. When I went around maligning my Guru and misrepresenting the ashram, that Mahatma smiled. I couldn’t comprehend any of that. Yet today, the truth of it all is coming forward and filling my mind as it is beginning to expand. I am asking myself questions and finding answers on my own.

Why does one join a satguru’s ashram? Purely for spiritual gains: to eradicate vasanas, to set aside likes and dislikes, and to practice renunciation. It is for nurturing patience, forbearance and compassion. It is to get the ego eliminated gradually, the ‘I’ nullified,  because it is the ‘I’ that is the cause of my suffering. If there is no ‘I’, then how can I have sorrow? If the ‘I’ goes away, then sorrow is left behind as sorrow. That sorrow becomes a common property. That sorrow can be eliminated by compassion, and it will be possible to realize through one’s own experience that a change in one’s state of mind is a more desirable way to eliminate sorrow than a change of surroundings.

A satguru’s ashram is a school designed to help us achieve this goal. The examinations one needs to write, to come out of this school successfully, will not be trivial.  The guru sets up the circumstances for that. They will be severe; they will be very bitter.

When I was near my Guru, I didn’t think of the values of that life. I came because of an attraction towards the Guru; there was no awareness of the reason for that attraction. I misinterpreted the attraction I felt towards my Guru as love, because of my Guru’s spiritual eminence. As I started living in the ashram, I had to be in contact with people who came from different countries, cultures and backgrounds. At that time I noticed the contradictions that existed in all of them, instead of gathering knowledge from them. It was myself that I loved.

When my likes and dislikes were not being met, I failed to recognize that my Guru was training me in renunciation, which is the first lesson in spirituality.  Only one thing occupied my mind  –  the unhappiness that I had to undergo; so much abuse  even though I had come there leaving everything in life. I had, in fact, come for my own sake;  my Guru didn’t need me, I needed my Guru instead. This fact had slipped away from my awareness.

When disrespect and denials wounded me, my mind had not acquired the

expansiveness needed to realize that these constituted the next lesson in spirituality. Instead, I disparaged my Guru in my mind, as I was weighed down by a feeling of inferiority, my value in my own eyes was going down. At the same time the ‘I’ inside me began to bring out and display another side of myself, to show that I was not so worthless.

Seeing the wounds in my mind, my Guru began to show great compassion in order to heal them. A high position in an institution run by the ashram was bestowed on me.  I didn’t know myself then. Only today I have a better understanding of the ‘I’ of that time, because I accepted that position then with the feeling of pride, that I was finally given a status that I deserved. I did not understand that the Guru sent it my way to actually quell my ego.

As I held that position, my feeling was that I was not so bad – the Guru had, after all, entrusted me with management responsibilities. My mind began to drift into a more ‘modern’ viewpoint in an effort to bring glory to that position. My attire changed to fit that outlook. I began to try to make a good impression on others.  This became paramount. I gave more importance to the ways of holding on to that position than to truth and justice. The only things that mattered were myself and my status.

While keeping me at the same place, the Guru sent me the next lesson in spirituality. Since I was holding a lofty position, I shouldn’t have to work too much; so a staff was added – that is how it appeared to me then. As I started to interact with the others, I failed totally in that essential aspect of spirituality – the lesson of eradication of vasanas. The thoughts raised in my mind by the intoxicating dance of vasanas was over-powering. I forgot where everything I had really came from. As I was perfect in every way, I was accountable to no one. I didn’t have to heed anybody’s instructions. I was fully gripped by the madness that life was here to be enjoyed, that there existed only life’s pleasures and desires. Why should I spurn all these and bear the deprivation and keep on struggling? I came away with the false notion that I had wasted my life until then.

When I left, there was only one thing in my mind. I had gone in for a life of sannyasa, so now everyone will make fun of me. My mind searched for ways to save myself, to justify my steps. Spirituality and values became foreign to my mind. I went very far from the Guru and the ashram. In that state of mind, I portrayed the incidents and circumstances the Guru had designed for my spiritual progress as forms of abuse.

In this way, I tried to save myself from being ridiculed as someone who had forsaken sannyasa. Whenever someone asked me directly, I captured their sympathy by describing the perceived faults of the ashram. I successfully stood my ground, but now I realize that that success was indeed the greatest failure of my life.

It is clear to me why all this has happened to me. I did not deserve to be a disciple. The reason was nothing else: I was not a spiritual person.

Now, having brought up two children with love and affection, and having realized that I have the responsibility to lead them to the path of their future, I understand one thing – the meaning of love and sincerity. When struggling the whole time to achieve my modest goal, I was thinking about and understanding my Guru.

When you look at the struggles the Guru goes through to fulfill each disciple’s goal of many life times, look at the dishonor, bad name, and the barbs of pain the Guru has to endure when working hard amongst us, for our own sake. Having come down from the bliss of the plane of the Supreme Self – who is it that is really subjected to abuse? None other than the Guru. All others can say whatever they want and leave the place if they don’t like it, but the Guru has come down with nothing but spiritual values, purity, and love for the disciples. We cannot imagine, from our level, the pain we give when we cause damage to those treasures of the Guru. We should see that it is universal pain, just like universal love. It cannot be measured.

I was told by many people that my Guru shed tears thinking of me when I left the ashram. But it is only today that I recognize what the pain of a mahatma is – even though I cannot measure how deep it is.

For my Guru, from a disciple, rehabilitated by repentance.

—– —–  —-

San Ramon, CA

M.A. Center welcomed yet another resident this past Wednesday.

Lakshmy gave birth to a beautiful black and white calf at 11:35 pm PST, Wednesday, May 19th. In the photo: Sindhu’s calf – born two weeks earlier – says ‘hi’ to his new playmate. Both boy and girl calves are unnamed.

- Gopal

28 April 2010
M.A. Center – Amma’s main Ashram in the US – welcomed it’s newest resident earlier today.    Sindhu gave birth to a baby bull at 12:35pm PST.   The unnamed male took his first steps soon after.   Mother and calf are doing well.

Auntie Lakshmi, who arrived with Sindhu as a calf 2-1/2 years ago, is expected to deliver a playmate within the next three weeks.

- Sri Pati

How many ‘New Years’ per year?

A good question for a quiz competition.  If this question needs good answer, ask this not anywhere else but in Amritapuri.

Amritapuri is home to a number of peoples and communities from this land and foreign. Also Amritapuri celebrates every group’s ‘new year’ festivals. So no wonder you will get a near- complete picture of new years.

Only four months ago, January first of the Gregorian calendar, was one New Years’ day.

January 15th was the second new year’s day that some of our solar calendar based groups celebrated, calling it Pongal.

March 16th was the third new year’s day for some of us following the lunar calendar; we called it Yugaadi. The day marks the beginning of counting of Yugas or eons.

Now comes Vishu or Bihu; this is according to the Zodiac new year; normally it falls on April 14; this time on April 15th.. 1654 years back first Vishu was celebrated and it was coincidentally also the first day of the solar calendar.

Some celebrate Diwali in October/November as their new year.

All of them are however related to different aspect of the skies. For example, on Pongal the sun’s path -as we see- shifted northward; yugaadi marks the beginning of spring season. On Vishu the length of the day and the night are equal.

Cultures are many, but all of them converge in Amritapuri under the canopy of Amma’s universality. It thus helps us understand Amma’s words: Nothing really changes just because the numbers of the year change! Newness is a quality of the heart. For an aspirant every minute is fresh, is a new beginning.

- Sandhya