26 Oct 2009 —
Question
Q142: Self-confidence?
Question 142:
“Can self-confidence be free of ego?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Question 142:
“Can self-confidence be free of ego?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
no. i think when you are free of ego something resembling but surpassing self-confidence is achieved. the word self-confidence itself implies ego. freedom from ego is freedom from fear, so one’s actions are spontaneous and perfect in each moment, but not confident, more like surrendered.
Self confidence is an inner power, Ego is a manifested sickness. They have nothing to do with each other.
Someone might have a very strong ego but with a very low self confidence, and vice versa.
Yes, it can! Confidence with one self, towards other humans, towards love and life it-self is a natural state that we are born with. It is the core of our self-beingness-expression. Through life when unsolved matter is added to this pure state whether it is “confidence” on a false concept or beliefs that lack confidence in our own Self it becomes gravity of mind. No freedom but more suffering!
Amma says ego should be like a burnt rope. So, I believe self confidence can be free of ego. The moment you touch it with sincerity it just crumbles. I had been to Amritapuri last April and at the counter I asked for a room. The person at the counter(brahmachari) in a curt voice asked me where I am from. I mentioned my parents location in Kerala. In the same tone he asked ..don’t you know that we do not give rooms when Amma is not here? I explained that I live abroad and was visiting my parents. Then he asked me to go to the International Office. I said, it doesn’t matter, please give a room. He must have realized my case was genuine and obliged. This I think is an example of an ego that is trying to use his discrimination to better understand the situation with or while exhibiting self confidence. Same goes with the story of a sage who asks a snake to hiss but not to bite.
IN A VERY PERSONAL WAY…TO ME… SELF-CONFIDENCE…IS AN INNER TRUST IN GOD…A BLIND FAITH IN AMMA’S GRACE…LOVE AND PROTECTION…BUT TO OTHERS IT MAY MEAN SOMETHING ELSE. SO… TO ME.. IT NEEDS TO BE FREE OF THE EGO….
Self confidence can be free from Ego…Every instance I perform in front of Amma, I ooze with confidence, that arises from the belief that She is the stage, She the audience, She the applaud…There is no Ego, No consciousness of surroundings. Its just Me and Amma… 🙂
Umm..this is a baffling question. Don’t you think that self confidence and ego are part of the mind? Could the thought of doing a particular job with the “self” in it make us to populate our ego? Don’t you think that the feeling of ego and doing things with self-confidence are the nuances of the thinking mind? If it is selfless, couldn’t that be without ego and beyond self-confidence? Maybe with self-awareness we might be able to curtail both? Afterall, its all from the mind..rather nasty invisible mind….
due to self confidence one can change oneself and know the Self. When one has known the self then there is no ego. so self confidence can be ego-free.
‘Ego will be present until the moment of self-realization.’
Even though we call ‘some of our actions’ to be selfless it has some ego involved in it.Only a mahatma acts completely selfless and we are trying to reach that state with our ‘selfless’ actions.
So self confidence always involves some ego, but we can go with Sree RamaKrishna Devan in this matter,
“It’s difficult to annihilate ego, So it’s better to convert it into an ego of, ‘I’m God’s child and i’m ever safe in his lap for sure.'”
This attitude is ego but a better ego than the previous one. This ego helps us to rise. 🙂
Self confidence is belief in one’s self. While ego is a relative of pride. Self confidence is faith in self, in our ability to achieve our goals. But ego is false pride, based on a false sense of worth.
Self confidence attracts people, but ego repels them. Yes, somewhere along the way Self confidence can give way to ego as it may lead to overconfidence which is the first sign of ego.
It requires divine grace for self confidence to remain just that, and not give way to ego.
Good question.
when the self exists, it leads to ego naturally. when we convert that self to supreme power’s grace, the self dissolves and ego also disappears.
Yes. But confidence in our small self should be based on spiritual principles and Faith in the big SELF, then it is not egoism. It is confidence in the power of God and ourself to achieve the goal. So self-confidence can help us in removing egoism actually and realizing the SELF.
self confidence comes in the context when the feeling of “I” is present…that means ego is present…..i do agree with the views of cmdevadathji
Yes, If the confidence is instilled in Him/Her by the Supreme One.
as long as you are aware that all of your abilities come from god and are due to his blessing then no.
According to my little knowledge, self confidence is not free of Ego. The Ego develops from the doership and enjoyership. When we don’t have fear, then the self confidence arises in the mind. When there is a Duality the fear arises. Eg;When a speaker is giving speech in front of another great speaker, there is a slight fear about whether he will commit any mistake. So if we do any actions with the attitude “i am not doing the action, i am an instrument in the hands of Lord” there is no fear.
no
I don`t think identification with that which has no truth, can create confidence. It is possible to pretend confidence but real confidence comes from within and from a relaxing attitude towards life.
“Faith in God is to strengthen your faith in yourself, the faith in your own Self. This is, in other words, called Self-Confidence, confidence in your own Self. If that is not there, you cannot succeed in life.”
-Amma
True and “permanent” ‘Self’ confidence arises only from knowledge (as in true experience) of the real/true Self. What is known as “Self” confidence in layman talk is most likely coming from the ego. Again, this is not necessarily a bad thing, but one that has karmic effects and repercussions, some good and some bad, since the ego by nature is of limited perception/knowledge and can only act accordingly. However, in a surrendered devotee, there comes “God” confidence/faith in turn leading to Self Confidence. How permanent this Self Confidence is depends on how spiritually developed or surrendered we are.
In fact i often used to think over this issue. i came to conclude that real Self confidence arises from the SELF or what we are and has nothing to do with ego. It is free from ego but until we differentiate it with our small self, we can’t realise it. Amma has SELF confidence free of ego.
since the ‘self-confidence’ in question was not capitalized, i think we can assume that the question was referring to the small subjective ‘self’. in which case it can never be free of ego since ‘self’ and ego are synonymous…
yes. self confidence is believing in yourself. ego is when you are full of yourself and don’t think otherwise. self confidence is inner power, while ego is mostly off of greed.
The self confidence we, the worldly people have, is mostly born out of our ego. The Self confidence that God-realized saints like Amma have, is self-less and is without the ego. Their confidence comes out of seeing the true nature of things in the present moment. This is true confidence. Ours is false for the most part, but sometimes we are able to come close to displaying true confidence, but ours is rare, short lived and transitory.
Self confidence is basically which says ‘I’ can do it. The term ‘I’ itself implies the bloating ego within. It’s good to have self confidence for a man. But talking in spiritual terms, if a man is devoid of ego, the question of confidence itself doesn’t arise. confidence is all about presuming certain situations and performances. If looks inwards rather than seeing outwards, he will realize that it isn’t ‘he’ who is performing the deeds but the Paramatma Himself. 🙂
Self-confidence is based on ego/ego identity. It is necessary as long as ego exists. When we are a part of natural flow or Self-awareness, ego and self-confidence have no existence.
true self confidence is to be seen in small children.. they are so happy with themselves, they can be totally engrossed with the most simple thing, they can talk about it so confidently and innocently because they dont worry about what anyone thinks ..they know no fear, they dont know what pretension means, they are what they are with faith in everything around them. Amma’s unconditional love and security gives us a similar unconscious fearlessness. Self confidence that is a result of the knowledge that Amma is with us all the time knows no ego. It is the grace of our Mother!
In Malayalam, the term for self-confidence is ‘Atma vishwasam’which means, the faith in our True’Self’ ie, faith in God, faith in our Amma. Self-confidence borne out of faith in Amma will definitely be free of Ego. The outcome of anything we do or say with this faith in Amma will be beautiful. “All’s well that ends well”. A person with true self-confidence will be free from elation, anger, sorrow and craving, he neither seeks the pleasant nor shuns the unpleasant. He will definitely be fearless, at the same time, he will not be a cause of fear to anybody.
I think any way to reduce ego reduces suffering in you and others around you. I have tried many techniques and it helps, seem to have no side effects and may help your life and costs nothing no strings. Some are on the internet.
I am not an affiliate of these methods, just want to share, and yes there are plenty of ways to be ego reducing.
Surrender gives ’self-confidence’, as it happened in my case in the presentation of my post-graduate project. I completely surrendered to AMMA and prayed as the professors were too strict and lo! finally gave the best marks at the end. Self-confidence with Surrender to the Divine Will not only frees the ego but also ensures complete success. But, initially faith wavers.
Self confidence comes when we do something for principle.There is no ego when we consider everyone like us.
when we realize our Self, then our Self confidence is unbounded, and our ego too 🙂
AMMA always gave us more self confidence than we deserve,once the self confidence is clothed with ignorance it turns into ego..may AMMA always guide us..rakshikane AMMA