A call to Kenya

I first met Amma in 1989 when Amma came to LA for one of her first programs. I cryed in her arms like a baby during my first darshan.   I had been seeking the path for 6 years after being fed up with working in the world and  being diametrically opposed to the values of such a capitalistic system of greed and materialism.  My body was the indicator that something was very much wrong with my way of life.  I had two critical brushes with my health that helped me turn to the path.   When Amma  came to LA, USA I was teaching yoga and I was a host on a spiritual radio talk show, interviewing  new age personalities.  I asked if Amma would be on my radio show and they told me she didn’t speak English, but I could interview her big swami.  When I interviewed him I realized I had never spoken to anyone like this in my life.  I would ask him a question and there would be a long pause before he would reply. Now remember this was a live radio talk show. I had been an improvisational actor and thinking on my feet was my forte.  After that interview I landed in her ashram one year later as one of the first western devotees to stay long term.  There were only a few huts, and I was a lucky monkey to be living in one of them.

In the beginning I was a rebel against the sadana routine  that occurred at Amritapuri. I thought they were all a bunch of complacent  sheep, following bhakti  which I wasn’t into.   I prided myself as a an advanced yogi from the west doing my own thing.  The strange thing is I would find myself always at Amma’s side, and this was unconscious on my part, I just followed my heart.  This went on for about 5 years, then I realized I didn’t know anything and started to try the ashram routine. When I started going to archana, bhajans, seva, spiritual talks etc.  I realized that this was the ticket to my higher self.  It was like jumping into the river and flowing effortlessly downstream instead of trying to struggle upstream.  My weakest area in the ashram lifestyle was seva.  When Amma asked me to go work at the press in my free time I rationalized that I didn’t have any free time. I felt I was always engaged in sadhna. As a result of not listening to my guru, I was gently pushed back to the western world to work.  I would work, save my money and come back whenever the first opportunity arose. This went on for the next 14 years.

This past year I got a big boon from Amma when I came to see her at Amritapuri. I was asked to help with security around Amma and  I was also getting to place her sandals on her feet every day.  I was in the flow of Amma shakti and everything was so effortless.  Before I had come I had made a decision that I would do whatever was asked of me.  I had made this decision 14 other years, but could never do it.  After one month of Amma  bliss I returned the USA to numerous trials that continued one after the next for 1 year.  The USA economy had just crashed and everything else seemed to be crashing as well. My partner and I were tested continually until we really thought we were going to go over the edge.  We finally took our last amount of energy and jumped to Amritapuri with the intention of staying for two years.   When we got to Amritapuri, Radhika from the international office approached us and asked if we would consider going to Kenya, Africa to help start the orphanage.  My partner Nikhila, who is a nester by nature had been moved 5 times in the past year and looked me square in the eye and said. “If you think I am moving one more time, you are crazy. There are many capable people here at this ashram that I can handle 108 orphans from Africa and unless Amma asks herself , I don’t think I am in any shape to care for 108 orphans.  Well, guess who asked us the following week? When Amma asked, Nikhila immediately turned her heart to what Amma was asking.   Now  we are here in Kenya Africa and this is the beginning of the blog about what happens in Kenya.

– Hanuman