14 Jun 2010 —
Question
Q166: Being Nice?
Question 166:
“What traits in someone’s behavior make you see him/her as being ‘nice’? How do you define ‘being nice’?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Question 166:
“What traits in someone’s behavior make you see him/her as being ‘nice’? How do you define ‘being nice’?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
As AMMA says we should be like a incense stick, birning away ourselves yet providing fragrance to those around, one should sacrifice himself for his friends, relatives and others. he should live for others as he does for himself
Humility is what I feel makes a person nice. Also compassion, also love, also kindness. To be honest, I feel only Amma is nice !
One trait that makes me see a person as being nice is politeness in the face of all odds. Whatever the provocation, when a person steadfastly holds onto to polite behaviour is truly remarkable.
Another trait that is adorable is kindness. These people can seldom harm or hurt.
Realizing self and egolessness are termed as nice
i think being nice means not doing anything that upsets another person. i am reminded of a story from amma about a king that wanted his whole kingdom laid with carpet so he wouldn’t hurt his feet while walking. his minister said wouldn’t it be easier to wear shoes? like that it’s easier to have a mind that won’t be upset by people’s behavior than to expect everyone to be nice to us. of course we should try our best to be nice at the same time.
BEING NICE IS TO FORGET ONE SELF AND DO EVERYTHING FOR THE COMMON GOOD.
Individuality, but respecting others.
To always have a genuine smile for people.
… whose nature is kind and gentle and put others’ needs before his or hers, that I consider “being nice”. Me too, as Priya, I feel that only Amma is nice always. We might be nice, but sometimes.
A smile when you suffer…A kind word when you feel rejected…A selfless deed just because…Empathy and Sympathy…these are nice qualities…My Amma wants me to be Nice, Nicer and eventually the Nicest…Jai Ma
“I may not be a smart man…but I know what Love is.” — Forrest Gump
A nice person to me is someone who never hurts my ego.(i feel ashamed of myself to be so). so it is not someone’s qualities or traits that makes him nice to me but my own imaginations about him. He or she can turn out to be a not so nice person at some other point in time. The best part of it is that they may be possessing the same quality which made me think of them as nice. It is a combination of some qualities and circumstances that makes someone being nice. He/she has got a little role in it.
I see niceness as the lighter side of kindness. If someone is “nice” to me, is that genuine? I equate niceness with manners, a socially commendable trait. Kindness and compassion are, to me, much more admirable than niceness. I was told I had to be nice, as a child, but I have had to learn, through Amma’s guidance, what it means to be kind to everyone…to see the God in them. That feels more sincere to me.
A nice person for me is someone humble, loving, generous, egoless and compassionate.
Parameswaran’s answer inspired me to uncover a big truth:
Let’s be Sincere and see reality as it is: When we feel someone as nice, it is that he/she pleases our ego and makes it feel good in one way or the other…
Initially,a nice person is a person who is polite to me, asks concerned questions and does all those good things that makes my ego very comfortable. But all these apply only to acquaintances. Another group of people are those who have felt free to scold when the necessity arises. Even though they may say something that will hurt my ego,i can understand why they said so,after some time. These people may show all many good qualities only to me, but they are still nice. Yet another group of people, are those we want to become like. To me,such people are always nice.
There is a description about Madhu (sweetness, honey ) in an Upanishad. Madhu has two meanings: That which delights Self and others, and that which intoxicates and attracts Self and others. Both qualities are applicable in a positive way to our most beloved Amma and all other Mahatmas. Everything in them is sweet and nice. Why are we rushing to Amritapuri? Because all these qualities are the inherent nature of Amma which is giving joy & delight to us.
4 years ago I had a different opinion about being nice, only persons who behaved nicely to me were being considered to be nice. Now Amma has changed my perception, people who serve the poor or the needy in some way or the other way, have become the NICE people in my perception, it doesn’t matter whether they hurt me or not. I bow down to all those people. In fact all are nice.
parameswaran, Antonio, susan….you are all spot on. not that others are not….our feeling of “niceness” depends up on our understanding of our own mind (means vasanas)! it is very nice of my friend, if he literally shouts at me for not taking care of my frequent headache, while it is also nice if (s)he gives me a gift for my birthday. It is like itchness of our skin. when we scratch our own skin when we feel itch, it is very nice, but when we do it if there is no irritation, it is not at all nice! Amma, how much deep rooted are our vasanas! You can only fathom!
Do we have to be nice or do we just have to try to see niceness in people around us? Trying to be nice may need effort and make us artifical but to consciously look for niceness in everyone we meet like Amma does – Should’nt that be what we want to be ..that would automatically make us more like Amma right? ..like a child looking for something wonderful ..thats how Amma is right.. like a child looking for Her beloved most beautiful Devi Ma & Baby Krishna inside even the ugliest, meanest and crookedest singing and calling to that one She seeks all the time.. Kothai tumi Jononi?
– first, it depends on our perception:
when we feel good, everything seems nice.. when we feel bad, everything seems not-nice (generally)
also, someone may do something nice, but we may interpret it as bad, someone may do something not-so-nice, and we may not even notice
– second, everything that happens to us is our ‘karma’, so if people seem nice, or not-nice, they are only delivering what we (or others) deserve
– third, everything is relative, so how to judge if someone is nice or not-nice? and why judge anyway? life is too complex, and our human mind cannot understand everything
let’s all grow in love and purity, and then the world will be a better world…. jai ma….
THANKS to everyone asking and answering questions:
each question and answer brings out new perspectives, all enriching each other, and all true .. and together they bring out inspiration, wisdom and love
I think of someone nice as being like my Great Grandma. When we would come to visit her, we were the most important people in the world to her. She would listen to us not just with her ears, but her heart. She would ask questions that opened us up and allowed us to see the good in ourselves and each other. She would cook a wonderful lunch and lemon bars to eat for desert.
What made her nice is that she listened with her heart, she reached into our heart and made us see how she saw us, and she gave us the love from her heart in food and in her words.
Niceness to me is loving with your whole heart, listening with your whole heart, and acting with your whole heart. My Great Grandma lived almost to 100. I used to bring her flowers from the prairies and no flower was too far away to get for her bouquets. The mother of my heart, the Mother I miss with all my heart knew this.
Identity attribute of mind
Pure love emanating out from within out of spiritual sadhana (Japa, Bhajana, Dhyana), the beautiful smile in silent glances, all that stands for being nice …