7 Jul 2010 —
Question
Q168: Late?
Question 168:
“How do you normally react if a person you are waiting for gets really late?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Question 168:
“How do you normally react if a person you are waiting for gets really late?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
I like punctuality but if informed earlier no problem otherwise get uneasy. Am now trying to be indifferent to all situations with AMMA’s grace.
I’d get angry with Amma for “setting me up” and aggressively (mentally) demand that She postpone testing me to some other occasion 🙁
If I had waited really late for this person then I will be worried what happened to him or her and will finally be relieved when he or she shows up.
If i have enough time in my hands and i can afford to wait, i will wait and pray to Amma to give me the required patience to wait. But I have noticed that when there are many things in hand and if i have to wait for a long time for a person, i forget about Amma and tend to get fidgety, upset and angry. Amme, please give me enough strength and detachment to be able to remember you at all times whatever be the situation and accept situations calmly without getting agitated and angry. Amme, please guide this child.
Before meeting my Divine Amma I used to get hyper. But my Divine MAA has cooled me and I Keep my finger crossed and wish that everything is alright on the other hand
I would first enquire about any problem the person is facing at that moment.If there is no major reason for him coming late then next time i will keep that in mind and purposefully come late. I may not react harshly on the first instance.
This is a lovely question. It’s funny how things some people do, can drive you zany and with other people there is no charge, or even humor. My sweetie, who I’ve been with 14 years, is quite often late. I’m usually standing at the doorway or car just waiting for him to do this and that. But instead of getting frustrated I just find it endearing and even slapstick funny to watch him jostle and labor with too many bags over his shoulder trying to bend over to pick up his keys, while spilling tea on his pant-leg and then waddling over to the sink to dab it with a rag, still bustling with several bags and then forget where his keys were.
You’d think it would drive you batty, but it just fills my heart with warmth. I would love to have his reaction to all humans on my earth-walk. Just food for thought.
I ask for the reason of delay. If it’s a genuine one, I let it go. Else, I bring it to the notice of the person I have been waiting for long.
I would not allow myself to be bothered by it and build irritation within my consciousness, specially because of someone else being irresponsible, but, would gently mention that I have been waiting for him/her for this long and finally it is nice to see him/her. I feel life is worth more than allowing ourselves to be angry at the little things of the ego.
I used to try by level best to be punctual. And naturally i expect from others also the same. If i wait unnecessary for someone without any genuine reason for the delay, i used to get angry for waiting my valuable time… But these things are not applicable for me to wait for our most beloved Amma or any other Mahatma. Waiting time for a Mahahtma is not a waste but an asset. Because They are beyond the time concept. All the time while waiting for Them our mind will be one pointed thought of the Lotus feet of our most beloved Amma.
it depends on the situation and let me tell you the country… USA? Italy? India?…. Punctuality is a great virtue and I really value it, but can we expect others what we want them to be? So I guess it can becomes a great lesson for patience. I try to control my reactions as much as I can.
It would totally depend on who it was. If it was a person who is never late then I would feel concerned about their wellbeing. If it was a person who is perpetually late I would feel irritated. I would also look at why I continue to set myself up by having expectations that they will be on time. If we were going somewhere together and their lateness caused me to be late, then I would not plan to drive with them in the future or would let them know that I will leave without them the next time.
When someone is late my mind goes usually to worry, as to what happened to them. For myself I have a thing about being late. I get very anxious if I am not where I said I would be. I am either early or exactly on time. When I am late it is usually because something in life, or the order of things has changed, and it usually changes for a reason. I tend to accept and believe that things happen as they should for a reason. If the person is late because of their own issues, then it is their issue not mine. I also tend to believe that we are constantly being tested by God on our spiritual progess. If I can practice being patient, and compassionate I think of it as a gift. I am not always aware of it at the time, but later I am. After saying all this, I wouldn’t be suprised if someone will be late in the future and I’ll be tested on my words.
🙂 when it’s a business appointment, it’s critical when people don’t show up on time… but for personal meetings, i never get upset…because, it gives me time to read, or enjoy a cup of coffee alone…
It depend for whom I am waiting, is a punctual person then I will be worried if not while waiting I just go on reading amma’s books so that I will be occupied and not feel the time passing.
I feel if you have cleared your past patterns, the life mirror outside doesnt bother you – you then end up feeling love for the people who are late.
I get angry, if I have to depend on that person. When that person finally arrives, I ask the reasons and if it is just laziness or forgot or so, I get really angry and depending on the relationship with the person, I make it known explicitly or in subtle ways.
I tell him only you are late,
And life continuing
It’s usually my family members who are regularly late and I start thinking that they are just so unreliable and feel frustrated and fed-up. I ask my husband what is the point of making plans with them because they never follow through. I don’t feel compassionate at all when they are late.
After living with AMMA for a long time, now I know that I don’t need anything or anybody. Life is smoft and full of innocence and joy. I don’t have to react on account of anybody getting late to any response.
Though, AMMA says, we must hiss if necessary but not hurt anyone.