This year my wife and I were unable to see Amma. My mother-in-law died on the week we had planned to go see Amma in Germany.
Instead of going to see Amma, my wife and I were both at the mother’s bedside when she gave her last breath. We had never seen anyone die before… the experience took 3½ days.
After observing her last breath and departure from the body we dedicated a puja to her. Our hope was that the death would carry her towards a peaceful reincarnation, as this life was not very happy for her.
I had never done a puja for anyone before, but somehow it just came to us that it would be a good idea. We placed a picture of Amma in her hands when she died, with a prayer book with the 108 names of Amma, which was blessed last year at the ashram in India.
Just before the moment of death… something strange happened. I noticed a fragrance in the hospital room that I could not identify. We had been waiting by the bedside… both of us were getting tired, and I was feeling a little guilty when wondering how much longer before death would finally come?
I was getting hungry. I needed to take a break. My wife was in and out of tears all day. I needed some fresh air. I was thinking: dying is so similar to giving birth! I could see there was this great effort going on… how my mother-in-law was slowly letting go of life!
Also… One never realizes how important a mother is until you lose her… now all I could think about was: I should have done more to her when she was alive!
The sun was setting… It was a cold November winter day in Danmark.
It was just before I wanted to go out that the fragrance came into the room. The smell was subtle, like that of a flower opening in spring time. How strange! I wondered where is this coming from? I asked my wife if she smelled “something” or if she had sprayed anything in the room. She said ‘no’… but soon she too smelled the special fragrance!
So instead of taking a break, I decided to wait. It was then that I noticed the mother’s breathing change. It did not look good…
20 minutes later she peacefully passed away and there was the sense that Amma had come into the room to be with us.
This experience still lingers in me. We had missed going to see Amma, yet she had come to be with us. How could this be, I wondered?
I hadn’t prayed for a sign or asked for anything directly. I just hoped that Amma’s subtle presence be in the room with us when my mother-in-law would die.
Looking back now…
I see that everything seemed to be so beautifully planned. We wondered how strange it was that the death occured during the time that we arranged to have off from our work to go see Amma.
So, thank you Amma… from the both of us.
Also the fragrance we experienced mysteriously came back to our house a few days before the my wife’s mother was to be given a church funeral service.
This fragrance remains a mystery, as is the source of Amma’s power to give love and compassion in the way that she does.
Peace and Love.
December 2007
Roger and Celia from Danmark
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