Silent reassurance

It’s been more than fifteen years now, when I first saw Amma giving darshans and fell in love with her after getting her hug. Many experiences have got me to the realisation that Amma is not bound by the limits of her physical body and that she will transcend the barriers of time, space and distance whenever she hears the heart wrenching calls of her children. No matter where Amma is physically, she is always a tiny little prayer away from us!

I had a wonderful experience which I would like to share with the world. The incident happened on 28 July 2009.

28 July 2009 was just another day for the rest of the world. For me, though, it dawned to herald in a new beginning in my life. I was to get engaged the same evening. I woke up with a happy heart and the realisation that Amma had physically blessed this union. I obviously had every right to feel blessed on my special day.

But somehow, with ‘the evening’ approaching, I was getting restless and nervous, wondering whether I was actually ready to take the plunge into married life. Negative thoughts took over and within no time I plummeted into the dark recesses of depression.

Finally… under the grip of a massive panic attack, I asked my brother to take me to Amma’s Ashram in Delhi so that I could let go off the negativity. This had been my practice for a long time. Whenever I felt lonely, sad or just not my usual self or even happy I would rush to D-3, Vasant Kunj, (that’s the ashram’s address), my spiritual home.

As soon as I reached the ashram I removed my shoes, near the elephant statues (as is my usual practice) and dashed to the temple. I prayed asking Amma to help and guide me. I prayed fervently and looked for a sudden calmness, apparent peace and renewed faith to engulf me. But nothing happened. I was as restless and nervous then as I was when I walked into the temple. With time not exactly on my side, I quickly completed the last circumambulation asking Amma why she had forsaken me on such an important day!

Lost in my own thoughts I proceeded to the place where I had removed my shoes. With a dejected and rejected heart, feeling Amma hadn’t blessed me with her silent reassurance. With a heavy and gloomy heart I wore my footwear almost absent mindedly. I nearly tumbled over so instinctively I grabbed one of the elephant statues at the entrance. HEAVENS!! I couldn’t believe what I saw. There were two neatly folded brown envelopes containing vibhuti (the way Amma gives them during darshan) I was totally blank. I didn’t know how to react since I vividly remember not seeing anything on the particular elephant earlier. Wasn’t this short of a miracle! I ran back to my brother and recounted the whole incident. With Amma’s blessings very apparent in my hand we drove back home, happily.

It’s surprising how Amma helps her children and takes pain to make us realize that we are not alone in this Universe and if we look around we will find subtle and not so subtle signs of her omnipresence.

Those packets were clear indicators that Amma listened to my prayers. It is so humbling to know that Amma, the Universal Mother has had time for this insignificant soul. That she took out time to tell me that she is there for me is the biggest engagement gift I could ask from you, my dearest Mother….

Needless to say, the two packets are always with me and have since then become my lucky charms.

– Divya Sharma