A thank you from Manila
When Amma sends her emissary, it is as though a very special messenger had come directly from her heart. You sense her presence, her purpose, her commitment to her work,but most of all, you sense her love.
A year and a half ago in August of 2008, Br. Shantamrita Chaitanya came to Manila to teach the Integrated Amrita Meditation Technique, and those students have happily kept his efforts and Amma alive in their hearts. We met weekly at a private residence (actually, my living room), week in and week out for the next 18 months. So, when he returned this time in mid-January, although still in diapers, I think we were able to crawl a little bit out of our playpen and respond to him with greater receptivity and more understanding. The chants were no longer so foreign, and at our satsang we hosted a large group with confidence — regular attendance had doubled.
But what is it to grow in practice and in purpose? What was initially a divine romance with Amma had blossomed for Lucy and me into, I think, a life-long commitment…You know, the prayer “Amma, don’t ever let go of me, keep me in the grip of your love.” Somehow, I think that has become our prayer too.
Seeing Shantamrita-ji on the stage addressing the devotees and guests and leading the chants lent so much validity to our efforts. I mean, the days when it was just the two of us chanting, reinforcing each other and often wondering, “What are we doing?” Some satsangs were better than others, but the whole point was just to persevere and find strength in other staunch devotees. For us, Tana and Jamby Madrigal were the pillars and creators of our little group and dedicated, tireless Shantamrita-ji, even if he came for so little time and was gone for so long.
But always it is Amma, from beginning to end, it is Amma.
That is how I felt too, in Tagaytay some 100 kilometers from Metro Manila, where we had organized some 48 families, and the mothers came for their first Satsang. What a priviledge to have Shantamrita-ji speak and with such clarity, about goodness and faith, and making tangible the illusive concept of God. The women, almost all uneducated, were able to grasp the whys and wherefores of Amma, because, she was there. She loved them enough, poor though they were, unschooled, with narry a clue as to the greatness that was before them, to send them Shantamrita-ji.
Of course, when presenting Shantamrita Chaitanya to my poor neighbors in the countryside I cried. I cried because I could not believe what a little love on my part could awaken in my Amma. I cried because I knew she loved me as she loved my poor friends, and she loved me for loving them. And what is love but Amma. Tears are a litmus test indicative of the points in our journey when the heart unknots the hard coil of skepticism and begins to feel again. Embraced by Amma, awakened by her touch to the truth of her message; the impact of her actions, the magnitude of her love elevates us, makes us weep. We cannot but see, all that can be, because of all that she is.
Tomorrow, Shantaji will be leaving Manila, Philippines for Tokyo, Japan. I cannot believe all that is in store for him to do, but he has Amma. And that is more than enough. He left us many good memories; an example of service to Amma that is terribly difficult to emulate; and quite unusual rainfall, in January, for Manila. The Maha Sudharshan Homa and the Maja Ganapathy Homa were almost too effective, so powerful, that even the heavens responded, with rain. But who can resist the supplications of Amma for the disciples who cannot but love, such a Goddess of Compassion?
What can we say, Amma, except: THANK YOU!
Grace
PRANAMS! WOW! The Gratitude towards AMMA is expressed from the bottom most part of the heart.
“Tears are a litmus test indicative of the points in our journey when the heart unknots the hard coil of skepticism and begins to feel again.” – well said! Very true! Loved your article. Thank you for sharing with us! 🙂
Thank you, Aruna, and servant of Amma…..
What a lovely gift to resound in love with you who love HER too; for SHE is who binds us together, who heals us of our blindness, who makes us feel the ecstasy of being without flesh or skin…Only the pulsing of love; a love that never lets up, an ocean that is always brimming, a laugh that never ends, and an embrace that awakens the poetry of the heart. For that which is true, which is devoid of all illusion, whose essence is undiluted and pure; HER fragrance fills the air, each breath we take just thinking of her, takes us to heaven.
In his little discourse in our village, Tagaytay, Shantamritaji spoke of a well of the heart. “Draw water from the well. As you quench the thirst of others, you enliven the well…The more you draw, the purer becomes the well…” Until you become, the purest well. The source of all wells is Amma.
Again, thank you Amma…we are still feeling the ripples of Shantamritaji’s visit. You are the pebble, You are the well, You are the sea, You are the sky, You are this joy in my heart. I long for Your embrace, the feel of Your skin, Your heart on my heart: pulsing, pulsing. When every breath I draw is you…my tears could fill a well, Amma. I love you, Amma… Don’t ever leave me. For in You I have found: my mother, my father, my child, my lover…a garden that blooms with every flower, a rose whose fragrance is forever, the only true poetry is awakened by the Awakened.
AMMA cannot be expressed in words how can we tell the greatness of mahatma in just few letters. The love of AMMA just overflows.
If the love that we experiencing is just overflowed love how can we measure the expanse of the ocean of love.