My first darshan…

The first time I met Amma was after a 3.5 hour drive to Seattle. I had a severe migraine at the time, however I was determined to reach Her. I had a dream of Amma previously that made me intent to see Her. I dreamt I was coming off of a plane and was in the line of people walking down the aisle. I felt Her, and looked to my left. She smiled at me and looked in my eyes. She was walking with others to board the plane. I felt this deep connection to Her after the dream. When I looked for Her on the Internet I saw that she was going to be in Seattle!

When I came into the hall where she was giving Darshan I didn’t know I had to get a token. I sat meditating and watching others going up to Her with flowers. It was then that a memory came to me of my Great Grandma. This memory was something I had tucked so far deep inside me that I was surprised by it. I was walking down a dirt road barefoot and saw South Dakota prairie flowers. I picked every color I could find for my Great Grandma. The memory opened up my heart. I couldn’t stop crying. Since I was young I have battled through migraines and other painful events.  I didn’t let myself feel any love towards myself. I was very severe in how I viewed my faults. Through my heart opening Amma let me know that She knew me better than I did. She brought this buried memory out to show me  that I was still that little girl carrying flowers to my Grandma who loved me and saw me and listened to me.

I cried for quite a while until the thought came to me that I needed to get a hug too! I didn’t think I deserved one. Someone had given their token back. I was able to get into line. I was the last person she hugged. My heart broke open and She filled it with Her love.

Lasita Gilbert, US