Many times have I found myself wondering ‘why me’?? I really mean it … but ‘why me’?? There are a million souls in this universe and still why did I happen to be the ‘CHOSEN ONE’?? I am not sure if there’s someone existing in the name of god, but I definitely believe in DA POWER, which I call MY GOD, the power so powerful, that can heal, revitalize and rejuvenate a living soul. I don know how many in this world have experienced this aura of positive energy, I really don’t care even if none has ..but I truly believe in how this positive power that I’m talking about, has only helped me become  a much better individual to myself n for the others around me!

Its unknown, unseen n unproved, I have always associated it to a form, the term POWER sounds too scientific to me, the form I love to call AMMA, a form I share my sorrows and happiness with, a form I rely on through all moments of my life, a form I share the silliest feelings of mine, and finally a form who instilled the warmth of a mother in me. In short she means the world to me, plainly because of the unconditional love she has showered upon me and that makes her the most special person of my life!

I had none but her during the most traumatic times of my life, there have been times when I wished I was not born in this cruel world and it was she who pumped in the right amount of courage and strength into me to propel furthur. The times when I was in my weakest state of mind, I had nothing but her shoulders to lean on, and if not for the timely support and encouragement that she gave me then, I wouldn’t have been writing this now. Through her books and speeches she made me realize that everyone is born to play a  particular role in life, the role gets revealed only when you live through it. Life is like a huge dark tunnel, every hit on the wall jus makes one stronger and running away from them in the name of fear is nothing but an act of mere cowardice. You have to plan your every move, and be very cautious about each step that you take and one would definitely see the light in the end. I know many who call these humbug, but I’m glad that I’m gifted with the wisdom to absorb the required and at least now, I feel my life definitely has a meaning to it, so much unlike the thoughts I had earlier, and I want to live on till I unravel it n begin to see the faint lights on the other end.

And now getting back to where we started, yes..the god’s chosen one! Am I really the gods chosen one?? My modesty just would not let me accept it when people around, be it my pals or my kin call me a ‘real lucky star’! But I know it for a fact that deep inside my heart and mind; I know that I have been the one! I know I have shared all my sorrows, happiness and even the slightest of ma desires with amma ,I know how depth my love for her is , she has been my best friend for long and I don’t have to prepare myself before telling her anything, I’m what I’m with her or may be only with her. I know that best friends do listen to what u tell them n what u don’t tell them too.. but how can they jus let things happen exactly the way U would want them.. or may be in an even better way?? Now that’s when I bring in the POWER factor, she has it, has it in umpteen amounts, and that’s what other call ‘luck’, there is nothing that she cannot do , u just have to trust her completely n I do. I have never pestered her for any needs of mine; I hated the idea of considering an instrument to fulfill my desires. But subconsciously I let her know about every feeling that I go through, good or bad. She plans the rest and finally things materialize exactly the way I would’ve dreamt about it or may be in a better way that I could’n dream of. I’m glad to say this any time and any number of times too , she has been with me even during the worst times of ma life n till now there’s not one smallest dream that I can think of which remains unfulfilled.

I have pondered many times about why am I so special to her? She is forever swarmed with people who have dedicated their lives completely for her. Probably I would have done the least for her when compared to them all. She has never told me her worries,  that is if she had any. All I know is that I love her deeply, truly and I would do anything for her. But this is something that she gets from a zillion people, she is not love-deprived, she does’n even need to reciprocate. So why is this unconditional love flowing from her?? Perhaps the fact that she is the universal mother and a mother needs no reason to love her children. But again, she is not my literal mother, so why does she actually have to?? Well… at times you are jus left with no answers!

I don get to see her very often, but at this point of time presence really does not matter when I need to talk to her. She is within me and I get to feel her warmth anytime I need it. That has been the driving force in me that keeps me moving on in life unscathed by the bumpy rocks that I sometimes bump into. The bruises only make me more cautious about my next step and my life has taken the shape of a huge adventure. And I also know if for a fact that if I fall, she will definitely be there to lift and carry me through the journey. It is this faith of mine that I’m totally amazed at, I really do not know how and when I gathered it all, its unshakable and  indestructible and will be within me till I breathe for the last time. However It’s a real great feeling to know that irrespective of the distance and the presence there’s someone up there to mother you with showers of love and care.

– Lakshmi Balram