04/09/06
Amritapuri
I was standing behind Mother on a darshan day when She started talking to Brahmachari Nijamrita about Bihar and the flooding that was causing Hundreds of thousands of people to be displaced from their homes. I had heard about it on TV and in the newspapers, so I was eager to see how Mother would react to the disaster. She wasted no time in making phone calls to Her Brahmacharins in different parts of India to make arrangements for aid relief in the affected areas. I was witnessing Her compassion first hand and felt blessed to see Her organize such a serious task whilst simultaneously giving darshan.
Later that night I was sitting for Swami Bhajans whilst Amma was still giving Darshan. My heart was yearning to go and help the people of Bihar. I was not sure why this feeling arose in me, but there was no real thinking involved. I tried to rationalize it, but I couldn’t, all I knew is that I had to act. Then I did something very out of character. I went on to the stage pushed my way to the front and asked Amma whether I could go to Bihar. Amma looked at me with concerned disapproval, saying She didn’t know, which I took as Her way of saying ‘No’ politely. I accepted Her response instantly.
I was woken early in the morning by my room mate Vinay “Nijamrita is on the phone” he told. I put the phone to my ear, “Namah Shivaya Swami?”
“Amma was up late last night and She told you could go. We leave tomorrow morning to Bihar. Be ready” he said
I felt ecstatic, there was no feeling to describe it. Amma had thought about it and She is allowing me to go, Wow that’s amazing.
As I sat down on my bed, suddenly it hit me. What was all this? I’m going into a disaster zone, there is going to be nothing but pain and suffering that awaits us, what was there to be ecstatic about, why I was so happy just 5 minutes ago? Was it because Amma thought about me, maybe that’s what made me so happy? A gloomy feeling began to settle in me. What was I thinking to ask to go to Bihar? What could I do to help these people?
– Sashvat