Ashram Diary

A couple of years ago when Amma called a young female dog ‘Bhakti’, some wondered: how appropriate can such a spiritual poetic name be for a mere stray dog!? ‘Tumban’, the name of the other ashram male dog, was an OK name; Tumban is a comic character in Malayalam lore. Bhakti (or devotion) is a spiritual ideal, a spiritual path Amma prescribes for multitudes round the world, how could a dog assume this as its name!? Some ashramites are given this spiritual name too.

Then we reminded ourselves and each other: Amma knows best. And today we understand more clearly: Bhakti, the dog, has displayed since then a remarkable and special form of devotion for Amma.

When Amma is on the peetham for bhajan or meditation, while Tumban frankly goes up and takes position by Amma’s side, Bhakti does so in her own feminine manner. She sulks a bit, displays coyness by pushing her earlobes backwards; she gives some expression through her widened eyes and goes up to Amma. But Bhakti doesn’t dare take up seat by Her side. Sometimes she pushes herself under the peetham’s sheet and huddles hidden from everyone, feeling Amma just above her.

Every day as we wait for Amma’s descending from Her room, Bhakti comes down as the precursor. Every day as Amma comes down the ramp, Bhakti pranams to Amma with her fore-legs flat, chanting her ‘Uuuuooo!’ mantra; as Amma returns to Her room the pageantry is incomplete without Bhakti.

“If the small children can go, why not me?” Bhakti pushes her way up to Amma’s room. And she is indeed welcome.

On non-darshan days, by forenoon, ‘If Amma’s steps entry is blocked, or if the front door is closed, no problem… she goes through the kitchen upstairs. Girls are supposed to take that path itself, anyway….’ Bhakti succeeds in reaching her destination.

Later in the evening when Amma comes down, much to everybody’s amazement Bhakti is happily trotting by her side!

More prominent is her restlessness as she Uuuuooos like a conch, running past the pageantry, when Amma returns to Her room. (Bhakti is not a dog, so she doesn’t bark, you see!) Bhakti goes up the steps ahead of Amma. Amma smiles lovingly and looks around sharing the understanding. Bhakti turns round the landing, runs further up, and once again Uuuuuooo’s, meaning, “Amma, please come fast!”

Suppose for some reason Bhakti doesn’t show up, within half an hour the sound system boys are seen looking for her, for Amma has missed her and asked about her! In great dignity she is carried to Amma’s presence.

Now it feels like we have all fully understood how deserving of her name this darling Bhakti is.

- Sandhya

The days of Amma’s Seattle program unfolded all too quickly.  The skies cleared for a few hours every day and many attendees took short walks around the parks and streets where pink, red and white azaleas bloomed.  The population of this part of Seattle is thirty per cent Asian and the ethnic mix was noticeable as attendees included devotees of Indian, Chinese, Korean and Japanese origin, giving the program a particularly international flavor.

The public program and retreat included many of our “fav” things.  Question and answer with Amma, meditating with her and receiving our Prasad dinner from her hand are always high on the list.  After receiving my plate, I went to a corner to eat in silence, but the density of the crowd meant that soon a conversation was going on at my shoulder.  At first I was a little irritated, but then I heard a woman happily telling her companions that this was her very favourite thing at the program, getting her dinner from Amma.  She continued saying, “Just imagine all the billions, trillions of beings that would love to be here getting their food from Amma.  Just imagine how many lifetimes we might have waited to get this chance… Don’t you find this food particularly delicious?”  Suddenly I was very happy the devotee had sat down next to me.  Her joy and attitude of “gratitude” had added to my experience. And it was a lesson, that relaxing and being open to all experiences enriches life immensely.

Another personal favourite were the two archanas a day and having two to three satsangs a day.   In one of the satsangs, Swami Ramakrishna commented on the final stanza of the Meditation Shloka of the Lalita Sahasranamam, “Oh Great Goddess, let me imagine that I am One with your glorious form…”  He pointed out that the divine qualities of the Divine Mother, which we were chanting in the archana, were the ones that we should be reflecting on as we went about our daily activities.  Chanting this in the morning should set the tone for our day and we should be thinking in every situation, “What would Amma do?”  Later several of discussed that we had never really paid deep attention to that sentence in all the years we had chanted it!  There is always something new to learn at Amma’s programs.

All too soon it was the final night with Amma glorious in Devi Bhava.  She stood for a long time at the end, gazing at everyone, missing no one and even asking to have a fan on stage removed that was blocking someone’s view.  The curtains closed all too soon on that compassionate gaze and shortly afterward Amma’s camper pulled away.  The tour caravan was heading down the coast of the Northwestern United States, surely blessing sky, land and water on the way.  All of us that had been pulled like iron filings to a magnet by Amma’s presence dispersed as that magnetic presence moved to a new location.  Next, many “filings” would realign in Amma’s San Ramon ashram, then to Los Angeles and onward across the continent.  For the next weeks, Amma’s swirling magnetic energy will continue to transform and inform our lives with the power of Pure Love.

Rta

Seattle 2013

Holding her finger tips my spirits rose.
I clung on to her hand as a dream walker.
While floating as a butterfly by wings of emotions,
disbelief faltered my steps.

She guided me to the porch of her love.
Seeing many hands waiting for her grace,
she swiftly released mine,
stretched her hands to the crowd.

I felt a sudden disconnection, a vacuum.
I kissed my hand where she held me.
A sweet aroma of her perfume filled my nostrils.
I swung into ecstasy along by her side.

Still in disbelief I pinched my body;
No I was not dreaming about reality!
She was looking at me in full smiles.
I merged in her sweet smile as a smile.

Wondering if she ever would hold my hands again?
Leading me from darkness to light,
from ignorance to knowledge,
from life to eternity,
from death to immortality.

S Rangorath

Many of us watched the progression of the Tokyo Devi Bhava on Chimes on Amritapuri.org. This was the last program in Japan before Amma would fly to Seattle and set foot on the North American continent once again. Excitement was mounting as most people had been waiting a year to see Amma again and others were planning to meet her for the first time. Some devotees have expressed that they can actually feel a shift of energy when Amma arrives in the USA.

A small group of us flew from the Amma Center of New Mexico to Seattle on a late morning flight the day before she arrived. We were very exhilarated to be on the way to see Amma, leaving our normal worldly cares behind, ready to focus on the eternal spiritual values that Amma exemplifies. We also felt a little sad that more of our friends weren’t able to make the trip and remembered those who had rather sadly watched us load our bags and depart, while speeding us on our way with good wishes.

We flew over the drought ridden West, noting the contrast of barren desert and mountains still clad with snow. The view of the Great Salt Lake was ethereal with deep blue and turquoise water alternating with snow white salt flats. As we flew into the Northwest United States and our eyes rejoiced at the sight of GREEN. Green lush vegetation bathed in the moisture that we are so lacking in so many places in the USA right now.
Landing, our lungs soaked up the moist air as a light drizzle fell over the city. We could only pray that Amma’s arrival might bring rain to other parts of the country. Yet, we knew that Grace and self-effort are linked. On the way to the hotel, we discussed how it is our job to protect, respect and love Mother Nature to bring the natural forces back into balance.

Reaching the Hyatt, the venue of the Amma’s Seattle program, more familiar faces appeared and we began to catch up on the events of our personal lives and Amma’s world. We were so happy to see so many old and new friends from Amma’s international community. Sevites were everywhere, busy transforming the hall and surrounding hallways and rooms into all the familiar components of the typical Amma program in the West: bookstore, snackshops, dining rooms Green Friends, Info and Seva tables…

By the next morning, all was ready to welcome Amma, who came up the escalator glowing in smiles and garlanded with vibrant red roses. The excitement was keen, from both old timers and people meeting Amma for the first time. The day went swiftly and soon Amma was singing the final bhajan of the evening program-“Jhala, jhalavena”. “The Goddess is coming in a procession…,” she sang. And indeed She had. We had joined Her by car, plane, and train from all over the world and were now ready, as far as possible, to follow her procession across the North American continent. Why? Due to the power of Her love, which has evoked love and compassion in us, and a desire to serve all of humanity.
Rta
Seattle, 2013

Ma, the moments of despair are e’er caused by lust,
The Guru as Self in Thy form directs all who are lost.
So dreadful is the enemy lust, surpassing the fiercest,
Yet the saviour is a mere speck of dust at Thy Lotus Feet.

So deluded was I that I took my enemy to be a friend,
Wandering in the gardens of pleasures like a fiend,
Ignoring Thee, the most lovable One, the dearest friend.
Tormenting the innocent and being cruel like a fiend.

Ma, the moments of despair are e’er caused by lust,
The Guru as Self in Thy form directs all who are lost.
So dreadful is the enemy lust, surpassing the fiercest,
Yet the saviour is a mere speck of dust at Thy Lotus Feet.

With my li’l intellect as charioteer, I dared to proceed,
Judging the wrong to be right, remained so wounded,
Thou hast shed the light of knowledge, so forgiving and kind,
By Thy grace, I must win over lust, purging vanities uncounted.

Ma, the moments of despair are e’er caused by lust,
The Guru as Self in Thy form directs all who are lost.
So dreadful is the enemy lust, surpassing the fiercest,
Yet the saviour is a mere speck of dust at Thy Lotus Feet.

If one has the strength to uproot even the Himalayan Mountains,
And to play with cobra, lion, tiger, elephant, and licentious brutes,
With the Yogic powers to humble even gods and wander galaxies,
Yet, the lust of the mind is unconquerable, so deadly among all foes.

Ma, the moments of despair are e’er caused by lust,
The Guru as Self in Thy form directs all who are lost.
So dreadful is the enemy lust, surpassing the fiercest,
Yet the saviour is a mere speck of dust at Thy Lotus Feet.

O! Mother, I seek refuge in Thee,
O! Saviour, the Most Compassionate,
The Infinite and beyond the Infinite,
The Incomprehensible yet so tangible.

Anyatha Saranam Nasthi Thvameva Saranam Mama
Thasmath Karunya Bhaavena Rakshamam Jagadeesvari.

– Sridhar

Question 224:

Amma says: “The attitude ‘I will only accept success’ is wrong. Learn to also accept the responsibility of failures.” How do you understand this?
Please make your answer brief and clear (maximum 5 or 6 lines).

Ma, I know not why the nature has three Gunas,
Bound to these fetters, a Jiva roams in varied wombs.
But I know, Thou art there everywhere to carry us,
Helping to rejoice and celebrate all days of our lives.

Ma, I know not why there are the Sun, the Earth and planets,
Bound by the Universal Force, Prana, held safely in Thy arms.
But I know, Thou art there always everywhere to care us,
Helping to rejoice and celebrate even in the midst of sorrows.

Ma, I know not why there are countless Universes,
Confounding the little human intellect that counts.
But I know, Thou art there to teach us in humble ways,
Helping ever to love, serve and celebrate all our days.

– Sridhar