Amma was in a very playful mood tonight during the bhajans. There were moments of laughter as She playfully scolded Swamiji and twisted his ear. A few times She would name a song that She wanted to sing but as I was announcing it to the audience She pointed Her drumstick at me – then She called for different song and looked at me mischievously as I fumbled through the index trying hard to get it right. Usually I have about ten seconds to find the song in the index before it kicks off and if Amma decides to change it last second, well, I just rustle through the pages like an idiot and somehow find it – hopefully. I guess all this helps to create some awareness and alertness in my slow mind. Anyhow, that occasional innocent and sweet smile from Amma makes it all worthwhile. It is also blissful to watch Amma interacting with the musicians around Her.

She sang the following songs tonight:

Govinda Gopala
Arikil Undengilum
Anutapam Valarunnu
Badi Duvidha Me
Banda Krishna
Omkara Swararupini
Shyam Shyam Kukadi Me
Sri Rama Namamu
Bandamuntu Sontamuntu
You Have Come To Sacrifice
Devi Saranam

There was again the simple and innocent English song You Have come To Sacrifice. After this song Amma suddenly addressed the devotees gathered in the hall, asking if there is reason (yukti) in devotion (bhakti). She asked those who thought that in devotion there is no reason to put their hands up. Quite many did stick their hands in the air but certainly not all. Amma then confirmed that indeed in devotion there is no rhyme or reason. Somehow I think all this was triggered because of the innocent devotion embodied in this new song written by non other than our beloved sister Lakshmi Akka. Those who know her no explanation is needed. Those who don’t know, no explanation is possible. The beauty of the lyrics speak for themselves:

You have come to sacrifice
You are the candle that burns
Melting down to give us light
Calling us with all your might

We are just playing around
Longing for the things that can’t last
Even then, You won’t throw us out
Even when we break your trust

But time is going by, going by right now
Still we don’t know how to use
The candle that burns in front of our eyes

And all the while, time is going by, right now
Still we don’t know the Queen of our heart

Only you know to where this will lead
To where we all go
Will it be a sad or happy end
But wherever you go
Don’t leave us behind
Please, Don’t leave us behind

24.8.2006
Vishwanath