25 Apr 2008 Darshan

Dream Darshan

I grew up with Catholic education in the village of Ciampino, located 20 km south of Rome, and throughout childhood and adolescence I fervently attended the activities of my parish. Today I moved away from all that and my family still is not aware of what has happened to me and cannot imagine what Amma means to me. And that this inner connection with the Mother has never, not even minimally affected my faith in God and in Jesus. On the contrary, it is reinforced every day. But how to explain to my family, who think I have been brainwashed? How do I defend myself from what they think of me? These thoughts go on in a vicious circle in my mind.

I met Amma the first time last October in Milan. And only a year ago before I met her, during a glance of her picture, which lasted a few seconds, I realized that She is the one I had been searching for. I felt immense confidence in her, as if I have finally found someone who tells me the truth and will not betray me. I immediately believed and continue to believe that everything She says is safe and pure. From that moment I wanted to be “adopted” by Amma, and started looking forward to the day she would come to Italy. As soon as I saw her in person, I started to cry for no reason and I could not stop. When I received her darshan I felt a gust of fresh air entered my body and a sensation of freedom from all fear at base. I returned from that meeting completely transformed on the inside. Since then, I see my daily difficulties from a different perspective, and all the prayers in my heart for help are answered, as small or big miracles. And thus began a journey to a different awareness…

A few days ago I had a wonderful gift of a dream.

In the dream, I was standing in the garden of my parents’ house, with a darshan ticket in my hands and waiting for my turn for darshan. Around the corner, I could see Amma giving darshan on the street to a group of people crowded around her. At one point, she left the people and moved towards me. The closer she came, the brighter her white sari shined and I the happier I felt. I was so happy that I exploded into an uncontrollable laughter, and then Amma turned to look at me. She stopped, looked at me and said in Italian, “You are always in my thoughts, there is not a moment when I am not thinking about you.” She continued, “Try to rest as you are tired.” And then she continued again, “What are you doing now in your spiritual life is not in conflict with the Catholic Church.”

At that moment I woke, with joy in my heart that accompanied me throughout the day. I have thought and rethought and doubted whether or not this waa but a joke of the mind or an important message of the Mother. Someone with whom I discussed this dream asked me, “But what did you feel in the dream?” And I said: “Immense joy that I have never experience in real life.” Then I realized that Amma wanted to help me, by giving answers to those questions that affected my mind, including the irrational fear of being abandoned, and the sense of guilt against the Church and my family.

Amma’s words give me confidence, sense of security and inner strength. It reminds me that I am not abandoned, but that the Universal Mother is always with me. And this is precisely the comfort that she give me since I started my spiritual practices. My fears gradually waned and I started seeing situations differently, with increased detachment.
–Silvia Nardi, Roma

Join the conversation! 16 Comments

  1. That is a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing it.

  2. “You are always in my thoughts, there is not a moment when I am not thinking about you.” Said Blessed Amma to Silvia

    My Blessed Guru, I am so thankful for your story above. I realized during the reading of it that sometimes I forget this truth and feel sad at not being near enough to gaze upon your magnificent beauty that is beyond the flesh.
    Thank you Silvia for being Amma’s instrument today.

  3. Your dream’s a life-changer.. a truly liberating experience from the guilt trap. Now we know for sure, Amma’s guiding us, even in our dreams! Thank you SO MUCH for sharing!

  4. …. beautiful and intense connection with Amma!!! So innocent and full-hearted a connection, and so wonderfully conveyed… May your full trust and confidence and Love continue to grow always!!! Thank you for sharing this lovely story!!! raji

  5. Dream darshan –was nice to read & felt so refreshing.Thank u sister.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing your experience, which reminded me my experience. I heard that even to see Amma in a dream, Her blessing / permission requires.

  7. it is said that u dream of satgurus when they think of you…..and there have been times i pray before i go to sleep ,that i have a swapnadarshan…how lucky Silvia is!!!!!

  8. Graceful Darsan and experience. When AMMA gives a darshan in dream it has the same divine effect as the real darshan. Several devotees had similar darshans and some others got darshan in their meditation. These are all grace of our beloved AMMA. It is a great fortune.

  9. This wonderful experience i have read again and again as i had a similar dream Darsan before AMMA gave me Darsan Physicaly. It was very powerful and What AMMA told came to true later. Several other times
    by AMMAS grace i got Darsan in dreams too. Once i was suffering from severe pain on my left foot and could not move at all and decided to go to an Ortho Physician. That night, around 4 AM AMMA appeared with a smile and sat near me. AMMA took my left foot on her lap and massaged gently. When i woke up i could move normally and in fact i could join that days amrita retreat with AMMAs devotees!

  10. What more you need Silvia ! Just hold on………….

  11. Silvia, the next time Amma comes along in one of those awesome dreams of yours, please ask her to pass by my bed too. And tell her, I don’t need a liberating super dream, just a smile would do! Thank you for sharing & may Amma bless you even more (even if you forget to mention to her about me)! 🙂

  12. Aum Jagrat Swapna Sushuptinam Sakshi Bhuttyai Namah (from Lalita Asthottara – the 108 names of Lalita).
    O Lalita Parameswari, salutations to the One who is Witness to all three states of mind, namely jagrat (the waking state), swapna (the dream state) and sushupthi (deep sleep).
    Has anyone ever heard of a Guru who never ceases to awaken us, even if it is in our dreams?!! Thanks a ton for sharing this with people like me, who prefer to stay in a world of dreams than wake up! You just gave me the wake-up dream!

  13. I trust Amma.
    I trust your dream too.
    Amma so far has not bestowed any spiritual experience to me.
    Really I long to have at least one to strengthen my faith.
    I have written so far 69 poems for her.
    my poems are at the site http://www.poemhunter.com/raman-savithiri/

    Here is one of these poems that I’d like to share:

    Amma, Is Not Love Mutual?

    In each part of India, there is a true story of devotee.
    Each nook and corner has given devotional experiences to many.

    Many had visions; heard voices;
    Many had seen You in disguised forms;
    Many had seen You at least in dreams;

    It seems even animals, sinners, lepers
    Had enjoyed Your divine love.

    But why don’t You even look at me?
    Is there any tragedy worse than,
    Waiting for love from one who never talks with me?
    – one who never cares for me?
    – one who never even glances at me?
    Can love flow in one-way? Is it not mutual?

  14. before opening AMMA’s website i thought that “AMMA won’t think of me. how sinful child am i”. but after seeing the dream darshan AMMA speaks to me through the words “You are always in my thoughts, there is not a moment when I am not thinking about you.” After seeing this i got confidence that this poor child will be always AMMA’s child.
    By AMMA’s grace MAY ALL THE BEINGS IN THE WORLD BE HAPPY.

  15. Am thankful to Silvia for her post. Its quite amazing to experience such a thing….. I am a christian and have been associated with AMMA for some time now. I do have the same problems of people at my home opposing my association with Amma and off-late they have been opposing too much when they found few of Amma’s books and Lalitha sahasranamam with me. They even blamed Amma saying she is the reson for me not having total faith on Jesus Christ that I should be otherwise having as a true Christian. I felt deeply hurt as my view of AMMA was of a pure humanitarian foremost. However unlike my parents opinion on me, I do beleive in my religion and was yet trying to figure out confused if I was doing something wrong by following Amma’s ways and being associated with her. I was very disturbed with all the happenings in my household and hence just to get some peace of mind logged in to this site and gazing thru various sections … and seeing Amma’s pictures and thus wondering why am I being blamed for being associated with AMMA…. came to the blog section. And while there were so many articles listed under “DARSHAN” … this one from Silvia somehow prompted me to go thru it completely… and when I did…. I was stunned for a while and just smiling at my Monitor thinking how Amma had answered few of the exact questions that I had in mind and at the very moment when I needed them. This might be a small incident for many but is a very BIG EXPERIENCE for me. Thanks to AMMA. I now know that she has her own special ways of connecting with our thought process!!! 🙂 I urge all of you to sincerely pray that my family understands this and reconciles with me.

  16. Hello silvia Thanks for sharing your dreams to reality to others mind
    My name s Rajesh am from india kerala and ammas native am in roma now

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