31 May 2009 —
Question
Q121: Attitude in others?
Question 121:
“What attitude in others bothers you the most? How do you usually react to it?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Question 121:
“What attitude in others bothers you the most? How do you usually react to it?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Arrogance. I really dont like talking to people who think what they are doing is right and that they are the only perfect ones in everything. I try to avoid such people, as i find it difficult being with them.
What most bothers me about others is people critisizing me or others. I get angry but dont react. I try to consider the fact that they have not learned other than that in life.
From among the various good qualities, I seem to cherry pick those that suit my taste and those that I can follow. Even though I don’t have many good qualities, I hypocritically expect others to possess those good qualities, and if they don’t it bothers me.
Of course, every now and then I am reminded of the fact that different people have different qualities, and that people are only victims of the three gunas figuring in various proportions determined by their vasanas from the past which they don’t control, but each time when the occasion comes I seem to forget. And suffer. And thankfully, in some cases, regret. How do I fix this?
when people are not open in the way they talk, the way they behave, it bothers me a lot…and i say it in their face when i feel so..i believe that being open makes one receptive to Grace…
Aggressiveness and arrogance (and of course big egos!),,, i try not to react reminding myself that this is their samskara and they cant do anything about it, but sometimes i answer back on aggressive ones, which is wrong -i know!-
As for the big egos, i do nothing but feel pity for them asking God to help them out of this huge prison.
What bothers me the most, is my own ignorance and that of others, also called the ‘mother of all miseries’. I pray to AMMA and keep safe all Her children from this mother of ignorance.
when someone acts like they don’t care. i guess that means that i have to care all the more so that i’ll never notice someone else not caring.
Selfishness. Its all about I, me and myself. Leave alone the parents even their spouse and children don’t belong to their circle. How can these people think of the environment and the fellow beings in this world? These types of people think that the world is created for them and their enjoyment and they can harm anyone to attain that.
I am the last person to advise anybody but when they come to me for help I take the oppurtunity to make them see the other side of life that its what you give you will get back. If one is selfish in thier approach to others they cant expect any help or co-operation from others. It really works!!
Confusion..
i usually react with more confusion..
talking or doing something like the whole world is running because of them. Some act as the whole universe is running properly because of them!
i see them as a mirror of my own mind and really see this as part of my character rather than them and try with full effort to correct myself.
i see them as a teacher and bow to them in my mind and feel happy inside to learn a new lesson.
i thank Amma, for teaching me through them. 🙂
All are one. But while playing our role, when one says: I have done it. i just don’t like this attitude because whatever is being done is predestined and GOD/AMMA does everything. Why can’t all surrender to GOD and say whatever has happened is according to HIS wish.
There are many things that I disapprove in others..though not consciously. Ideally as per Amma’s teachings one should see oneself in others. And instead of criticising other’s attitudes we should pray to the lord to help them overcome their wrong traits. Let us see ourselves in others and using the weapons of love, compassion, tolerance, patience let us try to fight the wrong attitudes around us . May Amma’s presence in our lives rid all of us from our wrong traits and attitudes. Your grace, Amme.
Actually i have no right to find out any defects in others. To find out defect in others, first we should be perfect. So i never bother in the attitudes of others.
But obievously i like people with straight forward mentality. i’am little straight forward.. whatever i have to say i say directly. Hypocrism is my enemy.
Now i remember the story of Dhuryodhana and Yudhishtira who went around the world to find out people with evil mind. Dhuryodhan found that all people are evil minded, but Dharamputra couldn’t find out even a single individual with bad qualities.
Hypocrisy. When people criticise me for something then go and do the same thing themselves. Normally I don’t say anything to avoid a conflict.
Anxious people. Not because I don’t like the attitude, I am afraid I will get anxious when I see them. I try to be calm, but somehow it is all the trick of maya. All the other attitudes are not causing me much of a problem. Is it because I am also an anxious person?
I avoid people around whom I have to be on high alert. (Maybe, Amma would say they are the ones I need around!) People who backstab and do it so nicely that it takes me a long time to understand what really happened. Those who say they love and then keep causing harm. People who never accept to loose and have to always win.
I end up reproaching myself for what I reproach others with : pretending, impatience …
i feel angry when others act very selfishly. of course i know that even i am selfish. but still…. then i think of myself as a very meek being and when i feel that others are trying to take advantage of me, i feel very irritated
All the negativities that I despise in others I myself have harbored. So I don’t have the right to criticize others but myself. But, I do get bothered when I’m trying my very best to change my negativities and the people around keep provoking me to repeat them. I know only deep meditation and Amma’s Grace can change my inside so as not to be affected by outside.
The attitude in others that bothers me the most is the one within myself that I am unwilling to take responsibility for and acknowledge. In reaction I will either become repulsed and avoid, or challenging. But, if I listen to Amma’s teachings and allow myself to be always comfortable as a beginner, then I will also experience others as beginners. From a heart of compassion, ignorance then becomes merely a “not knowing”. It seems silly to judge someone, even myself for merely “not knowing”.
No one is 100% perfect, to find out perfection in others, first we should be perfect. So i never bother in the attitudes of others.
But i like straight forward people. i feel angry when others act very selfishly without answering the mails or calls. No commitement in their work, always shortcut work. Being Amma’s children how come one does like this. Amma is always with us knowing this, one should come with good heart to do all work as Amma’s work.
The people who think: “I know everything, I don’t want any advice from others”. These types of people always try to correct others based on their knowledge. They don’t give minimum freedom to others. Sometimes I spend time with this type of people, but it’s horrible.
When people accuse me of doing what in actuality they themselves are doing…i.e. projection. Tonight I was being accused and abused and treated rudely by a complete stranger of being arrogant and doing things I was not doing and being misunderstood…I cannot handle this because I am empathic and receive other people’s hateful and anger filled energies. I do not know how to handle this.
This sort of behaviour from others usually results in me crying.
I pray Amma will take this away both the cause why people do these things to me and my reactions to them. Please stop this, God. To all of you reading this, please pray She will take this away.
When people don’t try, it really bugs me. I usually react by doing both their and my jobs, which usually results in me being completely exhausted, but I feel that it is my duty to see that if someone is not trying, that their job still gets done.
Attitude reflects mind identity? Sometimes when my wife is mentally distant anger arises. Mr. Ego ‘feels’ like it’s talking to a wall! This wall really is the sense of seperation within myself, which experiences anger as ‘reality’ and causes suffering .
If someone always wants to be right by any means, if someone acts unfair and manipulative, if someone is dishonest, aggressive, overpowering, blocks my and others’ creativity by aggressive righteousness, mean, hurts my feelings, doesn’t listen to what others have to say, huge ego…
… having to live together with someone like this, and it is very unlikely that this attitude will change…
I just don’t know how to handle that… I try to stay calm, work on my shadow, try to be aware, not to react, which many times doesn’t work – mostly I try to avoid this person. But we can’t avoid all pain and evil in the world.
I am tired of my mind and other minds trying to fix everything according to likes/dislikes. I still haven’t learnt to accept fully some things and hence also get bugged when others haven’t either. I seek inspiration among people who are able to accept things as they are and move on in a positive manner. The other thing I get acutely bugged about is people advising me like they have no faults( I am still not ready to accept that I am doing this too :-).
The attitude in others that bothers me most, is when people blame others or condemn others before looking at their own motivations and actions. Hypocrisy. As someone who has tried hard to root out his own hypocrisy and self-deception though, I try not to blame them, as I know it is hard. This usually leads me to chastising myself and taking on a great share of other people’s problems, as I will not give in to hate.
The attitude of comparing human beings according to what they have… meaning who has more is more important.