10 May 2010 —
Question
Q163: Beyond sadness?
Question 163:
“ Why do we get sad? Is there a way to avoid sadness?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Question 163:
“ Why do we get sad? Is there a way to avoid sadness?”
Please make your answer clear and brief (maximum 5 or 6 lines).
Attaching ourselves with anything brings us sorrow.but if we try we can get detached also.But to love amma is neither attachment nor detachment its only Amma..So I am happy,not sad…
We become sad because of expectation. We aspire for things which we do not possess. If we understand that we are born with nothing & not taking anything along with us when we die,there is no sadness. I sometimes cry & others think that I am sad & depressed. But I am happy inside. Many psychologists & psychiatrist told me I am childish. I like it. I am always happy because I am childish & at times will react spontaneously. I cannot keep secrets & always like to see different people. I like AMMA very much & in my mind always prayers to AMMA are going on. how can I be sad? Unconditional love removes sadness.
Sadness can be a gateway.
If you go right into it, and feel it fully, you will connect up more with Universal Love (also Amma).
Sometimes it seems the sadness is infinite but if you feel it for 10 minutes deeply, going right into it, you will emerge more peaceful and more aware. It’s good!
I find organic tulsi as a good tea for mood balancing. meridian tapping may help. Ayurveda for your dosha is important too
we get sad to know the value of happiness…the only way to avoid sadness is – start feeling guilty that it will be difficult for “amma” to stay in our heart if we are sad or in pain….if we are happy then it’s sure that “amma” is happily staying in our heart…our heart is “amma’s” house so that house has to be kept clean in the form of “HAPPINESS” 🙂
Yes, expectations mixed with an unsatisfied ego…
The way is to always remember that nothing is permanent, even these sad moments, and everything will eventually change with time.
I like this saying: “Time heals almost everything. Give time, time.” 🙂
As Amma said “Those capable of extreme sorrow are capable of extreme Bliss”. The direction just needs to be reversed once and for all.
But, what I fail to understand is sadness for absolutely no reason at all!!!
Sadness does not stay long when we become most attached to Amma. Amma is within us always. When we yearn for Her and reach out to Her in thought, action and prayer we can feel Ammas love strongly steering us. Being attached to Amma gradually i’ve felt the attachment to all others has reduced to an inconsequential level. I am able to share my happiness with loved ones and live very close moments with no expectations and that has really made life very easy and blissful. Being in love with Amma is my insulation from sadness. 🙂
We get sad if things do not go as we want. To avoid sadness we can remember Amma and recall the recent Darshan we had. Amma has embraced us, She is taking great care of us, She know what is best for us.. so, why be sad?
Attachments, expectations, not living in the present moment… and much more can be sources of sadness. I’m sure there is a way, not to avoid but not to be sad at all. The answer must be in following the path and, Blessed us, following Amma’s example.
we identify ourselves with our physical bodies and that is the crux of all the problems. We become sad when we limit ourselves to this body and the world around us. Once we shift our focus and remind ourselves that we are always the One blissful Atman, the basis of this universe, which is one with our Amma, there is no sadness.
We get sad when we think we are the body and not the self. One should always be aware of the SELF. Living in present means away from any emotion.
What’s there to get sad about, When the divine mother is with us…
The identification with body, mind and intellect is the cause of sadness. When we identify with these three, the “I”ness and “My”ness will certainly arise in our mind. To drop this identification, first of all we have to ask a question to ourself: ‘Who am I?’ What is the answer? I am the Sat Chit Ananda. The very Existence, Consciousness and Bliss. Definitely sadness is a state of mind. It will not remain long time. When Joy comes in, it will vanish. So to avoid sadness we should detach ourselves from the lower things and seek the Higher One.
Once I was sad, immediately I opened the book of AMMA, “For my Children”. In it, AMMA says, “Son, ego is the cause of sorrow. Be like a beginner and have the innocence of the child. A child is egoless and so he is always happy.”
I threw the ego and I got the joy of innocence.
I think that sadness is what we create. when you get sad, you change your self as child because child is always happy. amma will help you to become happy when you think her. Amma is taking care of us. she is the mother to us. she knows how to make us happy when we are sad. Amma is so wonderful and kindful.
” Sadness is an emotion characterized by feelings of disadvantage, loss, and helplessness.”
To overcome sadness, my way is to be happy. Smile at all the negativities and laugh at your weakness. Eating a lot of good food can also help.
Sadness is a part of life, and I experience it sometimes. I think sadness is needed sometimes so we can be grateful for what we do have in life. Most of my sadness lately has been because of separation from Mother. I wish all the time that I could go to India and stay in the Ashram, but I know I have to fulfill my dharma here for now. I also know that She will be coming here soon, and that I will appreciate and cherish the moments I will have with Her even more.
SADNESS COMES FROM EMPTINESS, FROM SEPARATION… AS UNITY GROWS, AND AS FULFILLMENT AND SILENCE WITHIN GROW, SADNESS HAS LESS GRIP ON US… BECAUSE EVERYTHING COMES AND GOES.. WE START WITNESSING IT… ONLY THE NON-CHANGING IS REAL…. WITH AMMA’S GRACE, WE’LL GROW INTO THAT STATE “WHERE EVERYTHING MATTERS , IN SUCH A WAY, THAT NOTHING MATTERS”
Definitely. it is solely in our hands. we can come out of our sadness by training our mind to be happy always. Remember Amma’s sayings: whatever it be i will be happy today. take this oath daily when we become sad we will remember our oath and try to accept the situation as it is. this is how we get a balanced mind. mind is a thief who will try to pull us down. but amma is there she will take us out. Just try keep on trying. One day we will succeed!!! sure. be positive.
It seems to me that sadness is an emotion of the mind that comes over us when we believe that what is happening in the present is not what we envisaged. The mind always looks for something out there in the horizon so to speak. If we can tell the mind that what “IS” is the best thing for now, then sadness disappears. Remembering Amma and feeling Her hand in our circumstance makes any experience bearable.
Sadness is because of distance from Amma . If we can feel Amma’s love all the time we will not be sad because that is only one complete and unconditional love. So when we are sad we must remember that it is the ego which is the cause of this sadness as it reminds us of our material desires . when we feel Amma’s presence all the time there is no space for sadness in our hearts.
Our scriptures and AMMA emphasize again and again that we are all endowed with Divinity, and are a part of the Paramatman! Basically our life should be blissful and filled with Happiness.
But then , we as mortals are always swayed by emotions, expectations and very often there is Sorrow and Sadness–this is the Maya of life. We are all entangled in this web of Maya. When AMMA speaks and is with us all the time, we need not worry. all the negativities will be wiped out, and we will be slowly able to come out of this and experience Infinite Joy.
We get sad when our desires are not fulfilled and our expectations are not met. Material attachment is a major cause of sadness. To avoid sadness is not easy, but its better to adopt a philosophical attitude that whatever happens, happens for the best.
As far as duality exists in our mind there will be happiness and sadness. I am going through such a condition now and there is no other way than holding Amma’s divine feet and praying to Her. I always remember one of the lines in the poem written by the great poet Rabindranath Tagore which I have studied in my school, “Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows”. This has become my prayer and I believe EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A GOOD REASON.
We get sad for the same reason we get happy: we imagine we are the doer and the enjoyer. Ask yourself “Who gets sad? To whom does this sadness come?” The one who gets sad is not you. The real you is beyond happiness and sadness. The real you is bliss, which depends on nothing. The real you is Amma. You are one with Amma.
Yet Kunti (Arjuna’s mother) begged Krishna for more suffering so that they could continue to see Krishna (who had saved them from countless calamaties) and be freed from future births.
JAI MA…ONLY THE MIND CAN BE SAD….NEVER THE HEART…WHERE OUR DIVINE ETERNAL MOTHER DWELLS…
Being in the Present is the way to be out of Sadness. Being in Present moment means to be Aware of the Inner Body energy or Atma Bodh or being attached to Self and not to the mind activities. So I guess not being in the Present moment is the cause of Sadness.
I have become sad mostly, when my desires are not granted. I think this is because i am quite attached to the “personality” i have “thought out” for myself, and i do not take any effort to reach there. To avoid sadness, in this case, I try to remember all the incidents that have happened before,where my desires were not granted, but i have felt thankful later that those desires were not granted. I really do believe that Amma will gently take us through, to the exterior of this mess we have gotten ourselves into.We only have to stop fidgeting and lie peacefully in those arms.
When my visa expired, I had to leave Amritapuri after 7 years. I was very sad and cried several times in the month or two preceding my trip back to America.
Each time I would quickly realize I am being selfish and how can i be of service to another, when I am so pitiful.
And of course, My Amma is always with me, ever waiting for me to wake up.
I think we feel sadness so we can feel and see when others are sad. By knowing it, we can give them a big hug, see them and tell them we understand and really mean it. I think we feel pain both physical and emotional so we can recognize it in others and help with all our hearts to take it from them any way we can. Maybe we are all dyslexic in our thinking ( I am by nature ) and we only believe we are sad, when we are actually feeling the pain of those around us.
so sweet for all of AMMA’s children to share their thoughts. hope i could at least try remaining unSAD like our dear.. cute.. animals showing unconditional love for AMMA.
nothing more or nothing less to say than what is said above….then why did I bother to write? Just to give my prostrations to all the above children of Amma.
Equanimity of mind in times of joy & sorrow is what the scriptures teach us.Let us remember Amma at all times and not be attached to the worldly joys and sorrows. Let us be an observer to the external situations which will insulate us from getting burnt by the ever changing external situations. May we all find bliss by identifying with our true nature at all times.
With empathy and compassion there is sadness, and to not feel it would be, to not be human. As human beings we have emotions but we are not these emotions. We can feel sadness, but at the same time have a larger perspective and knowledge that enables us to be a witness and feel peaceful deep within at all times.
To move beyond sadness we can focus on serving others. A million things cause sadness I’m sure, but mostly it is the mind that causes sadness. Anyone can have a number of sad circumstances, but ultimately it is the mind that chooses whether to be sad or not.
always make others happy, sadness will vanish. in any deed and act you perform, think only amma is doing and not; then your sadness will be wiped out. repeat the japa without any interval. when ‘you’ is not there, amma’s power works.
ever in the service of amma
I become sad when I identify with the feeling too much. If I can say,
“I feel sad, instead of ‘I am sad” then sadness releases its stronghold and ownership on me. To feel sad at times is human, I cannot deny being human but with Amma’s Divine grace, I can ride the feeling of sadness like a wave and then come into another, more uplifting emotion. My sadness is temporary, yet it keeps me rooted in compassion for others who experience difficulties.
When I believe untrue thoughts sadness is produced.
Agony of amnesy of Self
Stay near Guru or prey Guru to have heart open to do seva in family as them are Amma
The mind consists of either the protecting backward into memories or projecting forward into the future. In both cases it is due to clinging or attachment to people, places and things and the events they give rise to. The mind does this because it cannot comprehend its position in such a complex environment so it tries ease its insecurity by claiming an identity with objects and the events surrounding them. One could say that spiritualist is the relinquishment of the mind into an ever deepening present moment, where the mind progressively dissolves. Not matter how much hell is breaking lose around you, when the mind has truly dissolved, sadness, suffering or pain period, will not be able to enter experience. The end of saddens, then, is the end of the behaviors which fundamentally constitute what we can observe as the mind.