One recent satsang day I was called to the Kali Temple to film several Pada Pujas at the end of darshan, as I have been doing recently. I climbed the spiral staircase at the rear of the temple and found darshan was nearly over. I positioned myself behind the last people in the darshan line as they made their way towards Amma so I would not get blocked from the puja.

The first family was quite large and as they were setting up the crowd around Amma began to surge and push. The chanting of the Dhyayamo Sloka began, followed by the Guru Stotram. The energy was amazing.

We were all so close together and everyone was pushing closer and closer to Amma, like moths drawn to a flame. I could not get a view of Amma’s feet at all, and at first some tension arose in my mind. This is not new, as I have rarely encountered a time on stage with Amma where I was able to film unimpeded, and often some story begins in my mind. “Why is this person in my way”, “Stop pushing, can’t you see I’m doing seva”, etc…

I have received some glances from Amma during these dramas in my head as if to say “Son, come back, I’m right here.” So, here was another situation for my mind to hi-jack yet another spontaneous joyful experience with Amma.

This time though, I caught it and just surrendered to the intense devotion and love in the room, as I was moved side to side by the jostling crowd. After a short while I thought “Amma looks too beautiful, I have shoot this”. I managed to get a decent frame of Amma’s glowing face, and watched on the small screen as the family nearly burned themselves and Amma during the Arati. There there simply was no room, and the smell of burnt hair wafted through the air. Several brahmacharis called out in alarm, half scolding the family, but Amma just laughed. “Goodness” I thought smiling, “This is crazy! It’s just like Devi Bhava!” Amma looked straight up at me with a big smile and we laughed together at the scene.

As the first puja was finishing I tried to position myself better so I could actually film Amma’s feet as they were washed, but I just kept getting pushed further back. I thought “What can I do, it’s out of my hands.” Miraculously, the crowd parted, and the several rows of people in front of me were gone and I was standing right in front of Amma as the second family began. The surging, bubbling energy of the crowd stopped as quickly as it had come during the first puja and everyone watched in quiet devotion as the ceremony began.

I got my footage and the family was thrilled to have a DVD washing the Lotus Feet of the Divine Mother. All is under Amma’s control. We are but Her instruments, to be played as She sees fit. She is the Mind of minds. I don’t know any other way to explain this dramatic change that occurred in the disciples and devotees of Amma in those moments. It is Amma alone who stokes the fire of devotion within us. She can whip us into a frenzy and then simply turn us down again in an instant. She is the impulse of our devotion, the subject of our devotion and the offering as well.
AUM Amriteswaryai Namaha.
Puneet, USA