Question 210:

Amma says:
“Our mind is restless because wherever we go, we find fault and look for defects in others.”
How do you understand this?

Please make your answer brief and clear (maximum 5 or 6 lines).

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  1. When we ask to learn about love, all that is not love is brought to the surface so that we can absorb it’s facets and release the rest. The restless ego is a prized collaborator with the divine in our unfoldment.
    A superb forging stone and alchemical container that heats us to separate the subtle from the gross, to turn our lead to gold. This transition can scorch the heart, but Amma doesn’t give us more than we can take.

  2. to possibly heal restless mind / faultfinding (my opinion right or wrong)is purifying the mind by daily meditation, mantra, personal development work (clearing techniques) to clear negativity in the mind, selfless service to self-clear some karma bit by bit. Reading saints books for 15 minutes before sleeping marinades the mind in good energy, spending time in a temple and around positive people (or saints)helps too. Sincerely apologizing to all souls one has hurt in thought word deed in all lifetimes can help.

  3. ‘All’ up until now has been thought and done under the beleif that i am seperate. ‘All’ from this point of veiw, is thought/done with that tension feeling of being seperate. So i look/think at things from this. when i see things like this, they remind or carry that feeling tension, confusion of seperation that there is a ‘me’ and all that goes with that. To know all up until now has been seen from that point of veiw, then to look to the ‘Master’ as the ‘Light house’ of The ‘Real’ ‘Truth’.

  4. Only by turning within can we find peace. If we constantly obsess about others and their faults (which may be very real) we shall never turn within and recognize the Atman. Only by first freeing herself from the world and going to the seashore alone did Sudhamani gain the peace in which to meditate deeply. Then she found rest in union with the Divine Mother and returned to the world as Amma.

  5. The story of Yudhishthira and Duryodhana comes to mind. Once Dronacharya, their Guru called them and sent them both with the task of seeking out the best and noblest man in the kingdom. When they returned,Duryodhana was quick to retort that the kingdom was full of people with faults and weaknesses, and he felt there was no one better or nobler than himself. On the contrary, Yudhishthira humbly told his Guru that each person he met, had a quality or virtue that he himself lacked. So he was convinced he was the worst of all.

    This story shows how one tends to project on to others, those traits which are one’s own imperfections. So, as AMMA says, see the good in all and be restful.

  6. Amma once said something : instead of finding lackings and faults in others, first look at yourself in the mirror ( of course She said it in a more beautiful way but very sharp and direct to the point! am just trying to interprete what She said)…yes, looking at the mirror i think She meant that we have to look for our own faults first..because after all we are not perfect, are we? i mean if we were perfect, we wouldn’t be drowning in this ocean of transmigration! By analysing our own defects and working on them to turn them into good qualities will help us in going inwards, we will try to find answers to questions not pertaining to this materialistic world and in doing so we start becoming more spiritual…in this process, our mind will understand that we are no different from others..that we are all one! we will learn to love and respect others for who they are because we will see only the one Self in all! Of course all this is possible only through mantra japa and meditation but above all unconditional love is what is only needed!

  7. Finding fault, pointing at others’ shortcomings gives the ego the excuse and justification to remain alive. This way it escapes being itself put under the light (Exactly what the international medias do in world politics today). Amma wants to say that finding fault in others is a very strong tool for the ego, and is the number one source that keeps the mind restless and thus busy and important.
    Being aware of this is more powerful than doing ‘good spiritual practices’, because the subtle ego usually easily creeps in to make you feel ‘special’ because you are doing these practices… just another form of the ego’s comedies and trickery…

  8. Years ago, during seva, a woman pulled me aside and told me that when I smiled at her she felt her life was worth living. She then shared her sorrowful story which left a lasting impression. From then onward, I decided to turn my simple smile into a conscious practice. I also made a resolve to look for something good in each person, even if this wasn’t immediately visible. After some time this practice became such a habit that when I had a negative thought about someone it hurt. That pain created an inner conflict that led me to search for understanding. I discovered that very often beneath my negative thoughts was a feeling of fear. However, lately I have been realizing that even deeper still is this inherent misunderstanding about our true nature – the belief in separateness or otherness. I think, if we could remember, if I could remember, just after an unkind thought arises about another or myself, that the self I am actually judging is in essence nothing other than God, then maybe that harsh thinking would naturally dissolve.

  9. Pranams to Amma. I can understand it in this way. If we were happy with everything and everyone around us, we would not feel restless and feel the need to look out for better people, better circumstances to make us happy. We would be at peace if we overlook the faults in all and live in harmony with this world.

  10. Lust and fault finding are the most intricate abnormalities of the mind. Incessant chanting of the mantra, constant companionship with AMMA, the Divine Master, Svadyaya … all these help to cure these most incurable diseases.
    Restlessness is the nature of the mind, peace being its counterpart and vice-versa. Anger and envy are the chief causes of fault finding. Hence the heart needs to be purified through self-less service and self-less love.

  11. We are restless because our desires are larger than what can be available to us in this lifetime. Our cravings to secure beyond our means (as dictated by our karmas) creates an imbalance and results in restlessness. Only when we recognize this and surrender to the lord will we find peace, and ability to gain ultimate knowledge.

  12. Mind is a powerful tool that can help us realize Unity but also it can drag one deeper and deeper into the world of diversity. How? One of the surest ways to get entangled in Maya is to over indulge in criticizing and finding fault in others because it prevents us from nurturing good qualities that will assist us in spiritual growth and then this critical attitude excites the mind and prevents it from reflecting the stillness of the Absolute.

  13. Till we have not recognised our selves, our mind wanders here and there in search of peace. as we do not know that everything lies in our ‘self’ only. We tend to be judgemental. My divine amma says that charity begins at home. First treat urself find out ur faults, if you succeed u will find everyting alright. But as our mind is not in control so it wander here and there and finds faults in others.

  14. Mum is EGO only EGO and I forgot who really I am.
    “That” Ego is my agony and I dont see anymore others but as part of “That” agony and Ego.
    I forgot Truth and agony to have forgot others as Truth.
    Love all Humanity Mum and forgive me Mum for all suffering created veiling others.
    Rosaria from Milano staff

  15. It is the tendency of the mind to be restless. Let it be. We find faults with others because, we think of ourselves as this body and others as those other bodies! It all boils down to our not knowing ourselves due to Deha-Aatma-Buddhi, that is the crux of the problem! Once we know as to what is the problem, I am sure the solution is not far off. दृष्टिं ज्ञानमयं कृत्वा पस्यत ब्रह्ममयं जगत् | साष्टाङ्ग नमस्कारं for Amma and others too!

  16. A restless state of mind that seeks fault in others is a state of mind which I think is closed, and so the truth of others just bounces off the closed door of the perceiving mind that lets in only a mirroring of what it sees of itself transfigurated into thoughts attempting to strengthen what is ultimately a wound of experience. It is a state of mind; it is not mind and can be healed through a release and the mantra of yes.

  17. Our survival instinct encourages our ego to be a separatist.
    If we realize that, we are capable of all the faults we see in others, under similar circumstances, except for a very few unknown exceptions. We are likely to be less judgmental and more harmonious.

  18. If we have acceptance we will have positive attitude towards everything.

  19. Amma,

    I came to know that i am the useless and worthless person in this world without your love also if i cannot help poor persons or if i am not getting opportunity to do social work i am the most useless person in this world. please give me opportunities to live people and care poor people like you amma..be always with me.

  20. Restless mind is the sign of high ego ,weakness & immaturity of the self.I too have this trait in me.But becoming calm is the answer ,one can achieve it by surrendering totally to the wishes of the lord,yoga & meditation will help.living in the present by forgetting the past,which is over and we can not change it, nor can we predict what is in store for us in the future so no use thinking of it either,we will cross the bridge when we come to it.

  21. Nothing happens to us without the power of God and we behave accordingly to the laws of nature. Many a times We experience so many things naturally without our intention but it just keeps happening in spite of the best of meditation and self-introspection.Restlessness mind is one such.
    I feel that s a 1st step just allow the restlessness to happen and acknowledge it. It is a natural happening so let it happen. God will presented us with numerous ways and people (like Amma) to control it and we will acknowledge a few that control the restlessness. All this will automatically happen. Just relax and be one with this natural process. Trying to overdo something to stop the restlessness will cause another new restlessness if we are not able to control.

  22. First of all nobody has any right to find out fault and defects in others if they are not perfect.It is impossible to be 100% perfect.Yes, this is the main reason(finding other’s fault and defect ) for the restlessness of our mind . If we constantly finding fault and defects of others ,it will effect our mind only but not the others.Instead of finding fault and deffects of others ,we should train our mind to find the goodness and virtues in others and ignore and forget their faults.If a person has only fault and deffects ,pay sympathy to him or her.This is the only way to come out from this and lessen our agitation of mind…

  23. Each one of us think that we are perfect. As per our opinion, imperfection is always with others. This is the sole and solid reason for our restlessness. As Amma told in the Gurupoornima message, it is our attachment to likes and dislikes which make us unhappy, restless and faultfinding. If we develop the attitude to see goodness in all and everything, we can truly find happiness in all situations.

  24. so long as i, mine and others exist, so does the restlessness .. by Amma’s grace, let us awaken to our true nature, our center point where the pendulum of our mind rests..

  25. O julgamento é uma erva daninha que cresce em nossa mente e perturba nossos pensamentos. Só o amor é capaz de manter o jardim florido!

  26. This statement points at the state of our minds. We can change and purify ourselves by doing IAM meditation and mantra japa regularly.

  27. Out of the sense of limitation or incompletion, the mind, along with the sense organs, keep collecting information from the outside which may give it happiness. However, such happiness is temporary and limited. The mind often ends up being disappointed, but unable to turn inward, keeps looking outside and blaming how objects are insufficient to please it.

  28. It’s very simple, what we see is what we are….
    that is we are full of defects and faults and a restless mind.

    By seeing the world as perfect and all is well, no matter what we are able to be at peace and have a peaceful mind.

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